Tag Archives: military spouses

Why Your MilSpouse Resume Isn’t Cutting It

You’ve PCS’d to a new location. You’re all settled in—boxes are (mostly) unpacked, kids are in school, dog has calmed down and gotten used to the new place, and you’re ready to start working again. But how do you make yourself stand out in the crowd? You have a beautifully designed resume that shows off your amazing skills. You have a new suit to wear to interviews. You have practiced all the tough questions, and even have a great answer to the dreaded “What are your weaknesses?” question.

So why isn’t anyone calling you for an interview??? It could be your cover letter.

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If you just said “What cover letter?” you’re not alone. Research shows only 50% of job applicants send cover letters.

But we have news for you: as a military spouse, you can’t afford to be part of the 50% who don’t send a cover letter. You must take this extra step to make yourself stand out in a crowd if you want to land that job.

The cover letter is Step 1. However, there are probably other things you’re doing that are keeping you from getting a callback.

The following are a list of job-seeking don’ts for military spouses. For each one you’re guilty of, bow your head a little deeper in shame. Kidding!

But be honest, have you ever…

Called the organization by the wrong name? This is an easy mistake to make when you’re filling in a cover letter template. Cover letters should be specialized for the position you’re applying for. They should highlight how your experience would benefit the company and show that you’ve done your research. Bonus: Don’t call an Association a “company,” or vice versa.

Addressed your cover letter “Dear Hiring Manager,”? That’s just plain lazy. It only takes 2 minutes to look at the organization’s website and find that Hiring Manager’s name. If it takes you any longer, just call and ask “To whom should I address my cover letter for this position?”

Focused too much on yourself? “Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country.” -JFK. Swap out “country” for “organization,” and this is your new mantra. The Hiring Manager (whose name you now know) doesn’t care if the office is really close to your house, or if the hours are convenient for you to get to your kid’s soccer practice. Those are great things, and you should high five your spouse about them when you get the job. Until then, focus on “what you can do for your country.”

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Tried to convince someone to let you work from home? We get it—you live in the middle of nowhere. We’ve been there. Unfortunately, when you see your dream job in New York City—now may not be the time for you. Many organizations are becoming much more open to telecommuting, but not every position is suited for telework. If a job description states you must work in the office (therefore, you must live in the area), that’s what it means.

Recapped your resume? Your cover letter should not recap your resume. This is especially important for military spouses because you have some explaining to do. You’ve moved, changed jobs (a lot), had gaps in your employment, and may have more volunteer experience than paid. Your cover letter is your chance to explain.

Sent something generic? Do your research. Besides explaining your spotty employment history, a cover letter is your chance to showcase what you can do for this organization. How can you explain that, if you don’t know what they do? Personalizing matters.

A few more things: remember, the interview starts when you hit send. Always follow up. End your cover letter with something like: “I will email/call on X date,” and then do it! Thank you emails are important, too. Keep those lines of communications open, and try to enjoy the journey. Ask for feedback and learn from each experience. Soon you’ll be standing with your head up high and enjoying lunch with your crop of new co-workers.

Did we miss any important tips? Let us know in the comments!

christinabesaPosted by Christina Jumper, Volunteer & Community Outreach Director, and Besa Pinchotti, Communications Director

5 Things I Wish I Knew Before We Moved Back to the States

My family lived in Wiesbaden, Germany for three years. The day my husband came home with orders overseas, I jumped up and down in excitement. The day he told us we had to go back to the States, I sat down and cried.

If you’ve been able to live in Europe, this post probably won’t surprise you. There is something about living there that changes you. As much as I love our home here in the States, a piece of me will always be yearning for Germany. If you are still lucky enough to be living overseas, here are some things about coming home that may surprise you:

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Reverse culture shock is real. 

This one is difficult to explain. Feeling out of place in your own home is a thing. It took time for the kids and I to adjust to saying “thank you” instead of “danke.” They hardly remembered living in the States, and they were confused by everything from the way American toilets flush, to the types of door handles we used. The first night we were back, we stopped at a restaurant, and my poor son stood in the bathroom crying because he couldn’t figure out how to flush the toilet and he was too embarrassed to walk away without finishing the job. We had to send someone in to “rescue” him!

Everything is LOUD.

When we were overseas, I couldn’t understand the language being spoken around me. When you don’t understand the language, it’s really easy for the sounds of people talking to just become background noise–you tune it out. When we got home, it felt like I had some sort of superhuman ability to hear everything. All of a sudden, I could understand all the noise around me again, and it took some time for me to be able to block out that noise. It was overwhelming for the first couple weeks!

You’ll be homesick…for a country that isn’t home.

We’ve been back two years now, and I still ache for Germany. It hits me at the most unexpected times. Around Easter, I want to go back for Spargle season. In the summer, I can’t stop thinking about all the festivals. At Christmastime, I’d sell my soul for a Christmas market. I can’t stop thinking about it!

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Things go back to the way they were.

While living in Germany, I was determined to make sure we could travel (a lot!) and not rack up a huge amount of debt. In order to balance the budget, we didn’t have television service, or smart phones. The TV was almost never on, and I learned to function with an small, emergency-only cell phone. No one could reach me, and I was never distracted from the moment. It was magical. We also shopped at farmers markets instead of the grocery store, and almost never ate out.

When we came home, I was determined to stay unplugged, and stay healthy. Lets just say the iPhone and Panda Express won in the end. I’m still a little disappointed in myself.

Everything changes.

I struggled a bit with how much everything changed at home. We have a large family, and I wasn’t able to afford a trip back to my hometown for all of us, so after four years, I finally flew to San Diego to see my family. When I arrived, my favorite ice cream shop from my childhood was closed. The house was older. The people were older. I was different, too. Things didn’t fit together the way they once did. I no longer felt like I belonged there, and I didn’t belong in Germany. Everything was different.

Living overseas is magical and exhilarating, filled with places to explore, and memories to make. Coming back home is a little different, as you can see.

Have you ever had a hard time adjusting back to living in the United States after OCONUS orders?

HeatherPosted by Heather Aliano, Social Media Manager

Should You Elope? And Other Thoughts About Weddings…

“The Air Force just ruined our honeymoon. He’s deploying not even two weeks after our wedding. It’ll literally be just like when we got engaged and he deployed right after.”

My friend sent me this text a few weeks ago, and my heart broke for her.

She’d gotten engaged in September, and a few days later, her fiancé left for a six month deployment. Since then, she’s been meticulously planning what’s sure to be a beautifully romantic fall wedding, already ordering Save-the-Dates, bridesmaids’ dresses, and her own perfect white gown.

“What if you considered a honeymoon before the wedding?” I asked. “I’m a little backwards, so that wouldn’t seem weird to me!”

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But my own suggestion got me thinking about the pros and cons of scrapping the wedding altogether and just eloping. Plenty of military couples have done it – maybe there’s a reason?

Let’s take a look at some comparisons between weddings and elopements:

Eloping: Snap your fingers, and it’s done!
Maybe you’re facing a deployment, like my friend. Perhaps you could really use the benefits military life offers? Either way, eloping means you’ll be betrothed in a heartbeat.

Wedding: Nobody likes a finger-snapping Bridezilla.
With all the details, loose ends to tie up, and people to wrangle, it’s stressful to plan and execute a wedding. And sometimes, that stress can turn any sweet and patient bride into a fire-breathing, finger-snapping monster if not careful. Eloping boasts an easy, stress-free day.

Eloping: It’s cheaper but…
Whether you’re running hand-in-hand to the courthouse, or the two of you are flying to the Bahamas for a destination elopement, the costs associated with eloping are usually significantly less than a traditional wedding. Maybe you have plans to use the would-be wedding money on a down payment for a house, or paying off debt, instead.

Wedding: …Don’t cheapen the occasion.
Eloping, while quick, sometimes makes you miss out on the occasion—the planning, ceremony with guests, and reception to celebrate. Will you miss having someone to walk you down the aisle if you elope? Will you still feel married without the pomp and circumstance?

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Eloping: Keeps the peace.
Friends and family will weigh in like a ton of bricks on what traditions to follow, what music to use in your processional, even when and where to have YOUR wedding. It can be overwhelming, and start to feel like you’re babysitting people and their opinions. Eloping can keep tension at a minimum, and can guarantee your wedding day is just what you and your future spouse want.

Wedding: Don’t be the missing piece.
Having everyone who loves you and your partner in one place is a powerful thing. From your best friend who helped you through the rough break-ups in college, to your parents who’ve dreamed about your special day since you were little. Weddings celebrate the joining of two families, and it’s a beautiful way for all those people who love you to see your happiness culminate in one perfect day.

There are always pros and cons to everything, and the bottom line is that we won’t always please everyone. The military doesn’t plan for weddings, and it certainly doesn’t care about other big ticket events in your life, so why not do what works best for you and your future spouse?

Even if it means you have your honeymoon before your wedding. GASP!

What are your feelings about weddings verses elopements? Would you do your own vows differently?

shannonPosted by Shannon Prentice, Content Development Manager

Saying “Hail and Farewell” to Our Geo-Bachelor Adventure

A few weeks ago I found myself in the dimly lit party room of a Norfolk, Virginia restaurant, sipping a Diet Coke, and watching a group of sailors laugh and reminisce. I traveled down to Norfolk to attend my husband’s Hail and Farewell–a party to celebrate the end of his tour on-board a cruiser. The following day, we would load his gear into our car and drive back to our home in the DC suburbs. It was hard to believe, but after more than two years, our family’s adventures in geo-bachelorhood were finally coming to an end.

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While it wasn’t an easy decision, the choice to live apart during my husband’s sea tour made a lot of sense at the time. With two kids approaching high school and me finally in a job I loved, it seemed like a bad time to move our family, yet again. We had the added benefit that his job in Norfolk was only four hours away from our home, which would allow him to come home most weekends. After talking it over, we decided to give the arrangement a shot. Privately, I told myself that if we were too miserable or it proved to be too hard, we could always PCS to Norfolk later.

It didn’t always go smoothly, but over time we figured things out and got used to our new routines. My husband became an expert at navigating the I-95 corridor, discovering back roads and alternate routes to make his weekly drive easier. He rarely complained about the long drive, although I know it was exhausting for him, especially during the summer when tourist traffic could add an hour or more to the trip. I tried to keep this in mind when making our weekend plans and remember to set aside some time for rest and relaxation – but often that seemed impossible with a house to maintain and two busy kids to keep up with.

For the kids and me, the adjustment was a little easier – after so many years in the Navy, having Dad gone was nothing new. I quickly got used to cooking dinner for three instead of four and secretly enjoyed my sole ownership of the TV remote. Juggling my job responsibilities and the kids’ schedules on my own was sometimes a struggle, but what military spouse hasn’t had to solve the riddle of how to get two kids to two locations at the same time with one driver?

I did miss the close friendships I developed with other spouses during our previous sea tours. I traveled down to Norfolk occasionally to attend family events, but I wasn’t able to be there often enough to really get to know anyone. My local friends and coworkers were incredibly supportive and understanding about our situation, but there is nothing quite like bonding with another spouse who is going through the same experience.

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Sitting at the Hail and Farewell, I reflected back on our geo-bachelor experience. Had it been the right decision? Would I make the same choice if I had it to do over? As difficult as the past two years have been at times, I would have to say yes. Staying in Northern Virginia gave our family a degree of stability that we’d never experienced before. My kids have thrived and I am grateful that, so far, we have been able to spare them the stress of moving while they are in high school. And of course, I’ve appreciated the opportunity to work and pursue my career in a way that would have been impossible had we moved.

However, I recognize this choice wouldn’t be right for every family. We made it work, and now we get to focus on a new challenge: adjusting to having Dad back at home again, and me saying my goodbyes to the TV remote.

Did you ever choose a geo-bachelor tour for your family? How did it go?

eileenPosted by Eileen Huck, Government Relations Deputy Director

The Benefit I Hope You Never Need to Use

Every time my husband got ready to leave for more than a few days, whether on a deployment or for training, we would have the same conversation.

“So,” I would ask uncomfortably, “are you sure your affairs are in order?”

The first time I asked, he was confused. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“You, know – the important stuff – if something happens to you while you are gone, how will I be able to take care of our kids?”

“Oh, you mean life insurance?” he asked.

Yes, I couldn’t say the words without a lump forming in my throat. Life insurance.

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No one wants to talk about life insurance, or spend any time thinking about why you might need it, but it’s an important conversation to have. Service members and their families need to think about what they would do if the worst were to happen. As the mom of two young children, I had to be sure I would be able to take care of them, no matter what.

Military members are automatically enrolled in the Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI) for the maximum amount of coverage of $400,000. Premiums are deducted from the service member’s base pay. A service member is automatically insured under full-time SGLI if he or she meets one of the following requirements:

  • Active duty member of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, or Coast Guard
  • Commissioned member of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) or the U.S. Public Health Service (USPHS)
  • Cadet or midshipman of the U.S. military academies
  • Member, cadet, or midshipman of the Reserve Officers Training Corps (ROTC) engaged in authorized training and practice cruises
  • Member of the Ready Reserve or National Guard and are scheduled to perform at least 12 periods of inactive training per year
  • Service member who volunteers for a mobilization category in the Individual Ready Reserve (IRR)

If a service member would like to designate a beneficiary, reduce, or decline SGLI coverage, then a SGLV 8286 form (Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance Election and Certificate) must be completed. SGLI coverage may be converted after active duty to Veterans’ Group Life Insurance, or to a commercial life insurance policy.

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What about family members?

Military families also have access to Family Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (FSGLI). FSGLI is a program providing term life insurance to a spouse and dependent children of an insured service member under SGLI. The service member pays a premium for spouse coverage in $10,000 increments up to $100,000. Dependent children are insured at no cost for $10,000. FSGLI coverage is automatic for $100,000, not exceeding the service member’s SGLI coverage, unless the spouse is a dual-service couple. FSGLI spouse coverage is not automatic for service members who married other service members on or after January 2, 2013. Service members in this category will have to apply for coverage using form SGLV 8286A. Spouse SGLI premiums are also deducted from the service member’s pay and the premium rate is based on age category of the spouse. Post-military service conversion options are available for spouse SGLI, but not for dependent children.

How much life insurance do you need?

This can be different for each family. Generally, financial planners recommend short-term needs to cover immediate expenses such as outstanding debts, and long-term needs of future income to sustain the household. Take some time to talk to your spouse about your short-term and long-term needs, and learn more about life insurance options available for service members and their families. It may be helpful to consider your life insurance needs after your service member transitions out of the military, as well. A financial counselor can help you plan for your needs, and counselors are available at your local installation, military banks, or credit unions, or via Military OneSource.

katiePosted by Katie Savant, Government Relations Issue Strategist

TRICARE Prime: Why I Wish I Ditched it Sooner

I did it. I finally switched from TRICARE Prime to TRICARE Standard. I’ve been a military spouse for ten years, and I never really considered Standard to be an option for my family . . . until now.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE TRICARE Prime. I loved knowing that when I take my children to the doctor, I wouldn’t get a bill. If I had to call an ambulance and bring them to the hospital, there wouldn’t be a bill. If someone needed a surgery, or was diagnosed with some scary medical problem, there wouldn’t be a bill.

I thought I couldn’t afford a bill.

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Today, I’ve realized that it’s not the bill I should be worried about. I can no longer afford the care we’ve received at our Military Treatment Facility (MTF). As a working mom, I can’t afford to wait three hours at the pharmacy for prescriptions. As a mother of four, I can’t afford not being able to get my child into the doctor when they have an ear infection, or heaven forbid, pink eye, which left untreated will spread to ALL of my children.

I can’t afford to ignore my own health issues any longer, either. I can’t afford the time it takes to fight for referrals, or wait the three months until there is an opening at the specialist, or wait the six months the MTF told me it would take to get my child a referral for a mental health evaluation.

My family is in crisis; I can’t afford to ignore red flags any longer.

What I CAN afford is the co-pay for TRICARE Standard.

We switched to Standard two weeks ago, and let me tell you what happened:

I got online, and found doctors within the network. I found and called the specialists we needed and made an appointment, no referrals needed. In a half hour, I was able to schedule four appointments with a pediatrician, one appointment with a family practice doctor, a neuropsych evaluation, and an appointment with a specialist I have been asking to see for the last year. All of the appointments were scheduled for the next two weeks.

When I walked into my appointment at the specialist, I met a physician who listened to my symptoms, and immediately scheduled further testing…for the next day. During that test, he discovered a problem that will need surgery very quickly. This diagnosis explains all the symptoms I had been complaining about to the doctors at the MTF and military emergency rooms for the past year. I believe I could have (and should have) had this surgery a year ago, if one of the Primary Care Manager (PCM) I saw at the MTF (because I never did see the same PCM twice) had given me the referral I had asked for, by name, again and again.

Two weeks is all it took for me to get every last person in my family the medical care they need and deserve.

So what will it cost me? Every last penny I will spend on our healthcare this year is worth it. For my family of six, I will pay a $300 deductible before the coverage kicks in. We have already paid this within the first two weeks–we needed a lot of testing, procedures, appointments, and prescriptions! After I pay that deductible, we will continue to pay co-pays up until we hit a $1000 dollar catastrophic cap. My family will likely hit that cap, due to the special needs and health issues we are dealing with. Once we hit that amount, I will pay nothing else, until the following year.

There were times my family could not have afforded to pay a thousand dollars a year for health insurance, and during those times, and I am grateful my husbands service earned us TRICARE Prime healthcare coverage.

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I know I’m not alone with the decision to switch to TRICARE Standard because my family couldn’t get the care they needed, when they needed it. Remember Sequestration? Remember when MTF’s were closed for a number of days each week and no one could get care? My problems, and others’, isn’t the fault of the doctors and PCM’s, in most cases, it’s the policymakers who can fix this for military families. My family deserves the best care, no matter which plan we’re on. So does yours.

The National Military Family Association continues to fight for military families like yours and mine by asking Congress to end Sequestration and the unfair burden it puts on military families. And this year, NMFA is putting a heavy focus on TRICARE reform and the health proposals in the Fiscal Year 2017 budget.

Right now, I can’t afford to NOT to pay the thousand dollars for my family’s healthcare. I am kicking myself for not transitioning to Standard sooner. I could have gotten my son the evaluations, help, and services he needed sooner. I could have received the preventative care I needed sooner. I could have saved myself so much stress and time spent waiting on referrals and prescriptions, and time spent sitting in the waiting room at the ER when appointments were unavailable at the MTF.

I could have saved so much, had I switched sooner.

Did your family switch from TRICARE Prime to TRICARE Standard? What would you tell Congress about your experience?

HeatherPosted by Heather Aliano, Social Media Manager

Military Spouses: Start Your Career as a Financial Counselor! Apply for a FINRA Fellowship Starting March 1!

“If you can’t figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose.” –Bishop T.D. Jakes

I don’t think any truer words were ever spoken. Twelve years ago, I married my high-school sweetheart and entered the world as a new military spouse, a “dependent.” Suddenly, all of those years of awards and accolades came second fiddle to my new husband’s career. For the first time, I had to figure out the answers to questions like, “Who am I? What is my purpose in this military world?”

Years went on, and I gave birth to our first son. Yet, I felt unfulfilled. Would I be content staying at home until he, and our future children, went to school? Luckily, I didn’t have to struggle with that decision for very long.

In May 2007, the FINRA Foundation Military Spouse Fellowship Program approved my application to work towards earning an Accreditation in Financial Counseling (AFC). My passion for assisting military members and their families ultimately led me to finding my purpose: promoting financial readiness and awareness to my other family–my military family. I enthusiastically completed my required hours at Army Community Service in the Financial Readiness Branch at Fort Hood, Texas, and I was able to complete the formal education portion from the luxury of my couch, in my pajamas. The best of both worlds!

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A year after I started the Fellowship Program, I earned my AFC. I had a designation that could follow my name and be added to my resume. Robyn Alama Mroszczyk, AFC has a great ring to it! In 2009, we moved to Fort Sill, Oklahoma where I taught a Personal Financial Management class to new soldiers who were going through the Advanced Individual Training (AIT) course. I was able to serve these newbies before they arrived at their unit.

Between another PCS move to Fort Knox, KY, I taught over 1,000 soldiers. However, I like to think that I reached even more than those 1,000. As we know, soldiers talk to each other (good and bad information), and if they took one thing that I taught them, that knowledge would continue to spread.

While we were at Fort Knox, I had the privilege of working as the Survivor Outreach Services Financial Counselor for Gold Star Families. I was offered the position because I held the AFC designation. For two and a half years, I worked with the greatest families and helped them through their toughest moments. I was heartbroken when we received orders to Peterson AFB in Colorado, as I had finally found my dream job. But, we go where the Army sends us, and my time was up.

Since then, we have moved twice, and I have worked with Zeiders Enterprises as a Personal Financial Counselor. As a contractor, I had the luxury of applying for assignments based on my families’ schedule. I provide short-term financial counseling to military members and their families with managing finances, resolving financial problems, and reaching long-term goals.

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With the AFC, I have been able to add other designations to my name and resume: Certified Credit Report Reviewer and Certified Consumer Debt Collection Specialist. I have taken numerous continuing education classes to keep up-to-date on financial topics. In November 2015, I attended the AFCPE Symposium on a scholarship from the USAA Educational Foundation. While I was there, I met up with FINRA Fellows from the last nine years.

When you become a FINRA Military Spouse Fellow, you are welcomed into a community of intelligent, energetic, and motivated spouses. You are never alone. If you have a question, there’s a Facebook group to assist and cheer you on. We brainstorm and pool our areas of expertise to provide solutions that ultimately help our clients. As we gear up for move number eight in 12 years, to Washington, D.C, I am optimistic about entering the workforce full-time again.

As military spouses, we are part of an extended family that reaches across the world. Just like our nuclear family, finances are a taboo topic to discuss. However, our military members are having to do more with less, and we owe it to them to provide the best customer service we can. As for me, I want to inspire. I know that I can’t fix all of their problems, but I will do what I can to make a difference where I can.  Will you join me in that journey?

If you’re ready to start your career in financial counseling, apply to be a FINRA Military Spouse Fellow starting March 1, 2016. Applications are being accepted through April 22, 2016.

robyn'Posted by Robyn Alama Mroszczyk, AFC, FINRA Military Spouse Fellow