Previously, we discussed how making decisions from the shallow end of our mind can actually prevent us from succeeding at our New Year’s resolutions.
Let’s look at another common struggle with meeting our personal goals for 2017.
Struggle #2: Believing our inner doubter
Most of us have heard of “Debbie Downer,” the popular Saturday Night Live character whose specialty is to shower any situation with negative gloom. I would like to take a moment to introduce you to “Debbie Doubter.” Inside each of us is a part that operates from a place of fear, causing us to overreact to most circumstances with apprehension–especially those circumstances that have a high probability of igniting powerful change in our life.
The difficulty with Debbie Doubter is that she wants to keep things as status quo as possible. This can result in feeling stagnant, helpless, and hopeless. If we allow her to run our life, every single goal or dream we bring to the table will be seen from this negative perspective. And this puts extreme limits on our ability to succeed in any endeavor.
Challenge: Get in touch with your “Inner Hero,” the adversary of Debbie Doubter. Try this:
Think of a peak moment in your life–a time when you felt most alive and satisfied. Close your eyes and really allow the memory of this moment to wash over you. Think of the sights, smells, tastes, sounds, and exactly what it felt like to be there. Then imagine stepping aside and looking back at yourself immersed in that moment.
How would you describe yourself in this space?
If you had to describe yourself as a character, who would you be?
Here’s an example: My peak moment occurred when we were stationed in Norway enjoying an RV trip around the country. We were parked beside a crystal clear waterfall and I was sitting in a folding chair with a cup of coffee in my hand, not a care in the world. I can still hear the rippling sound of the waterfall, smell the fragrant pine trees, feel the cool mountain air, taste the strong Norwegian coffee, see my kids laughing as they played nearby. In that moment, it was clear that many of the things that easily got me spooled up in my everyday life just weren’t important in the big picture of my life. This part of me knew that, and was easily able to identify the difference between what mattered and what didn’t. I call this “Inner Hero” part of myself my Viking Twin, and tap into it often to get to the heart of a matter when I feel Debbie Doubter taking over.
Now consider your list of New Year’s resolutions from the perspective of your Inner Hero. What insights does that part of your offer? What are the differences between what Debbie Doubter believes about each goal versus what your Inner Hero believes? What truths about yourself can you discover from the Inner Hero’s perspective?
What are some tangible ideas for action to help you align with your Inner Hero? What will you commit to doing that will begin that re-alignment for 2017?
What changes do you notice in your body from this experience? Do you feel a physical shift when you are engaging life from the standpoint of your Inner Hero? How does that feeling differ when you engage from the standpoint of Debbie Doubter? Try to notice when you are viewing life from each of these perspectives and challenge yourself to choose your viewpoint carefully.
Do you often find yourself viewing situations as Debbie Downer? How do you change your perspective? Share a tip in the comment section!
Posted by Michelle Wells, military spouse and NMFA Volunteer