Category Archives: Military spouses

Military Spouse Appreciation Day: Do MilSpouses Even Want to be Appreciated?

Every May, since 1999 when Congress officially made it part of Military Appreciation Month, we’ve been recognizing Military Spouse Appreciation Day.  It’s our chance to honor the commitment and sacrifice of the silent ranks.

The Department of Defense joined suit in honoring military spouses by distinguishing the Friday before Mother’s Day as the official Military Spouse Appreciation Day.

Pledging to support their loved one, military spouses fearlessly stand behind the uniform. They tackle parenting alone, pursue education and careers to provide for their families, and in some cases, drop everything to care for their spouse injured in combat.


So why don’t many of the military spouses I spoke with want to be recognized? Why would they call it ‘just another day’ as important to them as “National Grilled Cheese Day?”

“I don’t need a pat on the back from those who don’t understand this lifestyle,” one military spouse said. “But it would be nice for service members to take a moment to reflect on how their spouses have helped support their careers. To take a quiet moment to say thank you.”

Are there flowers? Cards? Breakfast in bed? Shouldn’t this be the Mother’s Day before Mother’s Day?

“I don’t expect anything special, and we don’t celebrate it in my house,” another military spouse shared. “It’s nice when the base does something for us, but truly, it’s not necessary. My husband is the hero, not me.”

Besides quiet moments of appreciation from our heroes in uniform, there was one other thing military spouses agreed upon… appreciating each other is what makes Military Spouse Appreciation Day special to them. There may not be a big ceremony, flowers, or a Presidential declaration, but military spouses do like to feel the love from each other.

“I try to use Military Spouse Appreciation Day as a reminder to thank the fellow military spouses I know who have made a positive impact on my life,” one spouse shared. “It’s a good excuse to send some love!”

Another military spouse shared the same sentiment, “Life is too short to not love and appreciate those around us [by saying] thank you to all the spouses in my life that I know and love.”

At NMFA, we know military spouse serve in ways their civilian counterparts don’t understand. Through the highs and lows of military life, military spouses overcome obstacles no matter what.

So on a day that’s supposed to be all about them, it’s no surprise most military spouses are doing what they do best: supporting and encouraging each other.

THAT is worth appreciating.

How do you celebrate Military Spouse Appreciation Day? Or don’t you?

shannonPosted by Shannon Prentice, Content Development Manager

Want to Win a Free Photo Session for Your MilFam?

May is Military Appreciation Month, and at NMFA, we believe that includes military families, too! You sacrifice daily to support and stand behind the uniform–something many others couldn’t do.


To thank you and honor you during Military Appreciation Month, NMFA is bringing back our popular Military Family Photography Contest! Enter to win your family a free photo session with a talented, hand-picked military spouse photographer in an area near you. We’ve got photographers near and far, and entering is as easy as a few clicks!

Military life moves quickly, and sometimes the perfect moment for a family photographer is hard to get. We think your family deserves photos to cherish, and we found some amazing military spouse photographers who are volunteering to share their time and talents to capture a special moment in time.

Enter to win a free photo session!

shannonPosted by Shannon Prentice, Content Development Manager

Why Your MilSpouse Resume Isn’t Cutting It

You’ve PCS’d to a new location. You’re all settled in—boxes are (mostly) unpacked, kids are in school, dog has calmed down and gotten used to the new place, and you’re ready to start working again. But how do you make yourself stand out in the crowd? You have a beautifully designed resume that shows off your amazing skills. You have a new suit to wear to interviews. You have practiced all the tough questions, and even have a great answer to the dreaded “What are your weaknesses?” question.

So why isn’t anyone calling you for an interview??? It could be your cover letter.


If you just said “What cover letter?” you’re not alone. Research shows only 50% of job applicants send cover letters.

But we have news for you: as a military spouse, you can’t afford to be part of the 50% who don’t send a cover letter. You must take this extra step to make yourself stand out in a crowd if you want to land that job.

The cover letter is Step 1. However, there are probably other things you’re doing that are keeping you from getting a callback.

The following are a list of job-seeking don’ts for military spouses. For each one you’re guilty of, bow your head a little deeper in shame. Kidding!

But be honest, have you ever…

Called the organization by the wrong name? This is an easy mistake to make when you’re filling in a cover letter template. Cover letters should be specialized for the position you’re applying for. They should highlight how your experience would benefit the company and show that you’ve done your research. Bonus: Don’t call an Association a “company,” or vice versa.

Addressed your cover letter “Dear Hiring Manager,”? That’s just plain lazy. It only takes 2 minutes to look at the organization’s website and find that Hiring Manager’s name. If it takes you any longer, just call and ask “To whom should I address my cover letter for this position?”

Focused too much on yourself? “Ask not what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country.” -JFK. Swap out “country” for “organization,” and this is your new mantra. The Hiring Manager (whose name you now know) doesn’t care if the office is really close to your house, or if the hours are convenient for you to get to your kid’s soccer practice. Those are great things, and you should high five your spouse about them when you get the job. Until then, focus on “what you can do for your country.”


Tried to convince someone to let you work from home? We get it—you live in the middle of nowhere. We’ve been there. Unfortunately, when you see your dream job in New York City—now may not be the time for you. Many organizations are becoming much more open to telecommuting, but not every position is suited for telework. If a job description states you must work in the office (therefore, you must live in the area), that’s what it means.

Recapped your resume? Your cover letter should not recap your resume. This is especially important for military spouses because you have some explaining to do. You’ve moved, changed jobs (a lot), had gaps in your employment, and may have more volunteer experience than paid. Your cover letter is your chance to explain.

Sent something generic? Do your research. Besides explaining your spotty employment history, a cover letter is your chance to showcase what you can do for this organization. How can you explain that, if you don’t know what they do? Personalizing matters.

A few more things: remember, the interview starts when you hit send. Always follow up. End your cover letter with something like: “I will email/call on X date,” and then do it! Thank you emails are important, too. Keep those lines of communications open, and try to enjoy the journey. Ask for feedback and learn from each experience. Soon you’ll be standing with your head up high and enjoying lunch with your crop of new co-workers.

Did we miss any important tips? Let us know in the comments!

christinabesaPosted by Christina Jumper, Volunteer & Community Outreach Director, and Besa Pinchotti, Communications Director

Should You Elope? And Other Thoughts About Weddings…

“The Air Force just ruined our honeymoon. He’s deploying not even two weeks after our wedding. It’ll literally be just like when we got engaged and he deployed right after.”

My friend sent me this text a few weeks ago, and my heart broke for her.

She’d gotten engaged in September, and a few days later, her fiancé left for a six month deployment. Since then, she’s been meticulously planning what’s sure to be a beautifully romantic fall wedding, already ordering Save-the-Dates, bridesmaids’ dresses, and her own perfect white gown.

“What if you considered a honeymoon before the wedding?” I asked. “I’m a little backwards, so that wouldn’t seem weird to me!”

Elope Horizontal Graphic

But my own suggestion got me thinking about the pros and cons of scrapping the wedding altogether and just eloping. Plenty of military couples have done it – maybe there’s a reason?

Let’s take a look at some comparisons between weddings and elopements:

Eloping: Snap your fingers, and it’s done!
Maybe you’re facing a deployment, like my friend. Perhaps you could really use the benefits military life offers? Either way, eloping means you’ll be betrothed in a heartbeat.

Wedding: Nobody likes a finger-snapping Bridezilla.
With all the details, loose ends to tie up, and people to wrangle, it’s stressful to plan and execute a wedding. And sometimes, that stress can turn any sweet and patient bride into a fire-breathing, finger-snapping monster if not careful. Eloping boasts an easy, stress-free day.

Eloping: It’s cheaper but…
Whether you’re running hand-in-hand to the courthouse, or the two of you are flying to the Bahamas for a destination elopement, the costs associated with eloping are usually significantly less than a traditional wedding. Maybe you have plans to use the would-be wedding money on a down payment for a house, or paying off debt, instead.

Wedding: …Don’t cheapen the occasion.
Eloping, while quick, sometimes makes you miss out on the occasion—the planning, ceremony with guests, and reception to celebrate. Will you miss having someone to walk you down the aisle if you elope? Will you still feel married without the pomp and circumstance?


Eloping: Keeps the peace.
Friends and family will weigh in like a ton of bricks on what traditions to follow, what music to use in your processional, even when and where to have YOUR wedding. It can be overwhelming, and start to feel like you’re babysitting people and their opinions. Eloping can keep tension at a minimum, and can guarantee your wedding day is just what you and your future spouse want.

Wedding: Don’t be the missing piece.
Having everyone who loves you and your partner in one place is a powerful thing. From your best friend who helped you through the rough break-ups in college, to your parents who’ve dreamed about your special day since you were little. Weddings celebrate the joining of two families, and it’s a beautiful way for all those people who love you to see your happiness culminate in one perfect day.

There are always pros and cons to everything, and the bottom line is that we won’t always please everyone. The military doesn’t plan for weddings, and it certainly doesn’t care about other big ticket events in your life, so why not do what works best for you and your future spouse?

Even if it means you have your honeymoon before your wedding. GASP!

What are your feelings about weddings verses elopements? Would you do your own vows differently?

shannonPosted by Shannon Prentice, Content Development Manager

The Benefit I Hope You Never Need to Use

Every time my husband got ready to leave for more than a few days, whether on a deployment or for training, we would have the same conversation.

“So,” I would ask uncomfortably, “are you sure your affairs are in order?”

The first time I asked, he was confused. “What do you mean?” he asked.

“You, know – the important stuff – if something happens to you while you are gone, how will I be able to take care of our kids?”

“Oh, you mean life insurance?” he asked.

Yes, I couldn’t say the words without a lump forming in my throat. Life insurance.

3-9 Survivor Benefit Graphic

No one wants to talk about life insurance, or spend any time thinking about why you might need it, but it’s an important conversation to have. Service members and their families need to think about what they would do if the worst were to happen. As the mom of two young children, I had to be sure I would be able to take care of them, no matter what.

Military members are automatically enrolled in the Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (SGLI) for the maximum amount of coverage of $400,000. Premiums are deducted from the service member’s base pay. A service member is automatically insured under full-time SGLI if he or she meets one of the following requirements:

  • Active duty member of the Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, or Coast Guard
  • Commissioned member of the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA) or the U.S. Public Health Service (USPHS)
  • Cadet or midshipman of the U.S. military academies
  • Member, cadet, or midshipman of the Reserve Officers Training Corps (ROTC) engaged in authorized training and practice cruises
  • Member of the Ready Reserve or National Guard and are scheduled to perform at least 12 periods of inactive training per year
  • Service member who volunteers for a mobilization category in the Individual Ready Reserve (IRR)

If a service member would like to designate a beneficiary, reduce, or decline SGLI coverage, then a SGLV 8286 form (Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance Election and Certificate) must be completed. SGLI coverage may be converted after active duty to Veterans’ Group Life Insurance, or to a commercial life insurance policy.

3-9 Survivor Benefit Pinterest PIN

What about family members?

Military families also have access to Family Servicemembers’ Group Life Insurance (FSGLI). FSGLI is a program providing term life insurance to a spouse and dependent children of an insured service member under SGLI. The service member pays a premium for spouse coverage in $10,000 increments up to $100,000. Dependent children are insured at no cost for $10,000. FSGLI coverage is automatic for $100,000, not exceeding the service member’s SGLI coverage, unless the spouse is a dual-service couple. FSGLI spouse coverage is not automatic for service members who married other service members on or after January 2, 2013. Service members in this category will have to apply for coverage using form SGLV 8286A. Spouse SGLI premiums are also deducted from the service member’s pay and the premium rate is based on age category of the spouse. Post-military service conversion options are available for spouse SGLI, but not for dependent children.

How much life insurance do you need?

This can be different for each family. Generally, financial planners recommend short-term needs to cover immediate expenses such as outstanding debts, and long-term needs of future income to sustain the household. Take some time to talk to your spouse about your short-term and long-term needs, and learn more about life insurance options available for service members and their families. It may be helpful to consider your life insurance needs after your service member transitions out of the military, as well. A financial counselor can help you plan for your needs, and counselors are available at your local installation, military banks, or credit unions, or via Military OneSource.

katiePosted by Katie Savant, Government Relations Issue Strategist

Military Spouses: Start Your Career as a Financial Counselor! Apply for a FINRA Fellowship Starting March 1!

“If you can’t figure out your purpose, figure out your passion. For your passion will lead you right into your purpose.” –Bishop T.D. Jakes

I don’t think any truer words were ever spoken. Twelve years ago, I married my high-school sweetheart and entered the world as a new military spouse, a “dependent.” Suddenly, all of those years of awards and accolades came second fiddle to my new husband’s career. For the first time, I had to figure out the answers to questions like, “Who am I? What is my purpose in this military world?”

Years went on, and I gave birth to our first son. Yet, I felt unfulfilled. Would I be content staying at home until he, and our future children, went to school? Luckily, I didn’t have to struggle with that decision for very long.

In May 2007, the FINRA Foundation Military Spouse Fellowship Program approved my application to work towards earning an Accreditation in Financial Counseling (AFC). My passion for assisting military members and their families ultimately led me to finding my purpose: promoting financial readiness and awareness to my other family–my military family. I enthusiastically completed my required hours at Army Community Service in the Financial Readiness Branch at Fort Hood, Texas, and I was able to complete the formal education portion from the luxury of my couch, in my pajamas. The best of both worlds!


A year after I started the Fellowship Program, I earned my AFC. I had a designation that could follow my name and be added to my resume. Robyn Alama Mroszczyk, AFC has a great ring to it! In 2009, we moved to Fort Sill, Oklahoma where I taught a Personal Financial Management class to new soldiers who were going through the Advanced Individual Training (AIT) course. I was able to serve these newbies before they arrived at their unit.

Between another PCS move to Fort Knox, KY, I taught over 1,000 soldiers. However, I like to think that I reached even more than those 1,000. As we know, soldiers talk to each other (good and bad information), and if they took one thing that I taught them, that knowledge would continue to spread.

While we were at Fort Knox, I had the privilege of working as the Survivor Outreach Services Financial Counselor for Gold Star Families. I was offered the position because I held the AFC designation. For two and a half years, I worked with the greatest families and helped them through their toughest moments. I was heartbroken when we received orders to Peterson AFB in Colorado, as I had finally found my dream job. But, we go where the Army sends us, and my time was up.

Since then, we have moved twice, and I have worked with Zeiders Enterprises as a Personal Financial Counselor. As a contractor, I had the luxury of applying for assignments based on my families’ schedule. I provide short-term financial counseling to military members and their families with managing finances, resolving financial problems, and reaching long-term goals.

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With the AFC, I have been able to add other designations to my name and resume: Certified Credit Report Reviewer and Certified Consumer Debt Collection Specialist. I have taken numerous continuing education classes to keep up-to-date on financial topics. In November 2015, I attended the AFCPE Symposium on a scholarship from the USAA Educational Foundation. While I was there, I met up with FINRA Fellows from the last nine years.

When you become a FINRA Military Spouse Fellow, you are welcomed into a community of intelligent, energetic, and motivated spouses. You are never alone. If you have a question, there’s a Facebook group to assist and cheer you on. We brainstorm and pool our areas of expertise to provide solutions that ultimately help our clients. As we gear up for move number eight in 12 years, to Washington, D.C, I am optimistic about entering the workforce full-time again.

As military spouses, we are part of an extended family that reaches across the world. Just like our nuclear family, finances are a taboo topic to discuss. However, our military members are having to do more with less, and we owe it to them to provide the best customer service we can. As for me, I want to inspire. I know that I can’t fix all of their problems, but I will do what I can to make a difference where I can.  Will you join me in that journey?

If you’re ready to start your career in financial counseling, apply to be a FINRA Military Spouse Fellow starting March 1, 2016. Applications are being accepted through April 22, 2016.

robyn'Posted by Robyn Alama Mroszczyk, AFC, FINRA Military Spouse Fellow

4 Threats to Your Military Marriage and How to Fix Them

As a military spouse and professional counselor, my favorite thing is seeing military couples build a great marriage. In a lifestyle that is constantly changing and stressful, it is difficult to stay connected and thriving. Deployments, long work hours, and other types of separations interfere with family time and couple time. Experiences from deployment can often change the way a couples relate and handle stress.

Marriage Graphic 2

Here are some common topics I hear from military couples in my counseling office, and suggestions I offer:

Our schedule makes it difficult to find time for each other.
A healthy marriage needs regular face-to-face time to keep a couple connected.  Over time, the relationship can become more shoulder-to-shoulder, especially when children come along. It is imperative that you are intentional with the limited amount of time that you do have. Plan at least one uninterrupted ‘date’ each week (in advance) where all surface talk will be set aside. Commit to making your time positive. Refrain from resolving major conflict and be protective of these moments. Commit this time to encourage and build each other up rather than fixing problems.

Also, set boundaries at work when possible. Leave when they say you can leave, and set an example for your colleagues on investing in your family. Even if you feel your marriage has become more “back-to-back,” make intentional time to look each other in the eye. You will be surprised how quickly your spark comes back.

We have grown apart after frequent separations.
Needing our spouse often gets a bad rap, as if it somehow makes us actually “needy.” The truth is, couples get married because their spouse adds something of value to their life. Take them away, and something will be missing. You have powerful influence into your spouse’s self-confidence and sense of value. Much of that happens when there is a place for them in the home and the relationship.

After many separations, couples grow used to having separate lives, which causes conflict or a quiet distance between them. Starting a new pattern will be difficult, as the spouse at home relinquishes control and the service member tries to re-engage. It is not an issue of who does it better, but whether you feel you are a team. Although this isn’t true in every case, men typically understand love through feeling respected, while women do through emotional connection. Talk about sharing more responsibilities shoulder-to-shoulder, as well as meeting needs that are more intimate.

Marriage Pinterest PIN 9 (2)

My service member’s traumatic experience in the military has changed us as a couple.
Anytime life hands us something unexpected, it creates an opportunity to grow and change as a couple. If your spouse has been through something traumatic, professional help for one, or both, of you may be necessary. Many spouses struggle with resentment and anger that professional counseling will help with.  Flashbacks, nightmares, avoidance behavior, and irritability makes any couple feel they’ve been robbed of the relationship they had before. There are treatments available that lessen current anxiety and help manage the memories that often surface.

Support in your community will also be important for both of you. Consider looking into groups of other spouses who are in your situation, as well as other veterans or battle buddies, if you are a service member.

My spouse refuses to go to counseling with me.
It takes two to work on a marriage. Having goals and working on them together will set you on a path to grow and mature as a couple. If your spouse is not ready, or is resistant to marriage counseling, consider going on your own. Working on your own personal goals and learning healthy boundaries will ensure that you are making healthy decisions during a difficult time. The hardest part of marriage is having no control over the choices your spouse makes. Sometimes, when your spouse sees you growing and making changes, it will trigger them to want to grow as well.

If the problem is getting your service member help off the installation, make an appointment for marriage counseling as the dependent, and have your service member join you. This helps with avoiding any red tape that could slow the process down for them.

I believe marriage is the greatest asset we have as military couples. It offers stability to a lifestyle of uncertainty. When we invest intentionally, it becomes a “home” that never changes, a safe place when times are difficult. Your marriage should always be growing, with new goals and ways to improve. Commit to creating opportunities for face-to-face time and make it a priority. You have great influence in breathing new hope and life into your spouse.

My motto? Start simply, but simply start.

What ways do you put effort in to your military marriage?

corie-weathers-headshotPosted by Corie Weathers, LPC, 2015 Armed Forces Ins. Military Spouse of the Year and host of Lifegiver Military Spouse Podcast