New Year, Probably Not a New Me: 2018’s Most Okayest New Year’s Resolutions


“This year, I’m making my New Year’s resolution one that I can actually achieve,” I say each December, when I sit down to think about all the things in my life that need fixing and changing. Nothing like telling yourself this is finally the year you’ll lose the weight, read the Bible front to back, and organize all the things…for the sixth year in a row.

I know you have a Pinterest board pinned with tons of resolutions that you’ll do one day before you die, but how likely are you to really get down to business and complete them? For 2018, I decided to aim low and see what I can achieve. Celebrate the small victories, right?

Here’s a list of my perfectly achievable resolutions for 2018. Want to join?

  1. Go to the gym once
  2. Remember to write 2018, instead of 2017
  3. Cross off “Don’t die” from my 2017 resolutions list
  4. Open the cereal bag without ripping it and spilling the cereal
  5. Finish the shampoo and conditioner at the same time (this might actually be impossible)
  6. Keep a house plant alive until March
  7. Use a gif in at least 2 text conversations every day
  8. Truly believe that donuts have no calories
  9. Look at my bank balance even when I don’t want to
  10. Love myself like Kanye loves Kanye (this might also actually be impossible)
  11. Be less perfect
  12. Incorporate “It’s a no from me, dawg” into at least one conversation a day (because we need to learn how to say no more, am I right?)
  13. Lay on my side while I look at my phone in bed so I don’t drop it on my face
  14. Stop chewing my ice
  15. Wear all the clothes from the pile of clean laundry I never folded
  16. Think of a password other than “password”
  17. Keep a safe amount of space when driving behind a police car
  18. Make a second PB&J sandwich with that knife I put by the sink in case I wanted to make another one
  19. Learn how to work the ceiling fans in my house without just pulling all the cords until what I want to happen, happens
  20. Listen to Taylor Swift’s new album

Okay, let’s be real. That last one is never getting checked off the list. But I have a good feeling the other 19 are definitely possible. 2018 hasn’t even started yet, and I already feel happier (and less hangry)! And good news—I think I’ll be able to check off resolution #3.

Are these resolutions you can achieve? Share this on Facebook along with your most okayest resolution! 

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