“The Air Force just ruined our honeymoon. He’s deploying not even two weeks after our wedding. It’ll literally be just like when we got engaged and he deployed right after.”
My friend sent me this text a few weeks ago, and my heart broke for her.
She’d gotten engaged in September, and a few days later, her fiancé left for a six month deployment. Since then, she’s been meticulously planning what’s sure to be a beautifully romantic fall wedding, already ordering Save-the-Dates, bridesmaids’ dresses, and her own perfect white gown.
“What if you considered a honeymoon before the wedding?” I asked. “I’m a little backwards, so that wouldn’t seem weird to me!”
But my own suggestion got me thinking about the pros and cons of scrapping the wedding altogether and just eloping. Plenty of military couples have done it – maybe there’s a reason?
Let’s take a look at some comparisons between weddings and elopements:
Eloping: Snap your fingers, and it’s done!
Maybe you’re facing a deployment, like my friend. Perhaps you could really use the benefits military life offers? Either way, eloping means you’ll be betrothed in a heartbeat.
Wedding: Nobody likes a finger-snapping Bridezilla.
With all the details, loose ends to tie up, and people to wrangle, it’s stressful to plan and execute a wedding. And sometimes, that stress can turn any sweet and patient bride into a fire-breathing, finger-snapping monster if not careful. Eloping boasts an easy, stress-free day.
Eloping: It’s cheaper but…
Whether you’re running hand-in-hand to the courthouse, or the two of you are flying to the Bahamas for a destination elopement, the costs associated with eloping are usually significantly less than a traditional wedding. Maybe you have plans to use the would-be wedding money on a down payment for a house, or paying off debt, instead.
Wedding: …Don’t cheapen the occasion.
Eloping, while quick, sometimes makes you miss out on the occasion—the planning, ceremony with guests, and reception to celebrate. Will you miss having someone to walk you down the aisle if you elope? Will you still feel married without the pomp and circumstance?
Eloping: Keeps the peace.
Friends and family will weigh in like a ton of bricks on what traditions to follow, what music to use in your processional, even when and where to have YOUR wedding. It can be overwhelming, and start to feel like you’re babysitting people and their opinions. Eloping can keep tension at a minimum, and can guarantee your wedding day is just what you and your future spouse want.
Wedding: Don’t be the missing piece.
Having everyone who loves you and your partner in one place is a powerful thing. From your best friend who helped you through the rough break-ups in college, to your parents who’ve dreamed about your special day since you were little. Weddings celebrate the joining of two families, and it’s a beautiful way for all those people who love you to see your happiness culminate in one perfect day.
There are always pros and cons to everything, and the bottom line is that we won’t always please everyone. The military doesn’t plan for weddings, and it certainly doesn’t care about other big ticket events in your life, so why not do what works best for you and your future spouse?
Even if it means you have your honeymoon before your wedding. GASP!
What are your feelings about weddings verses elopements? Would you do your own vows differently?
Posted by Shannon Prentice, Content Development Manager