Did you know that as a military family, you have all kinds of improv talent? Wait. Don’t stop reading! Recently while re-reading comedian Tina Fey’s book BossyPants. I learned about improvisation.
She details her time at Chicago’s The Second City Theater, where improv was perfected. Not sure what improv is, exactly? Tina describes improv as being on a stage with your partner, with one person initiating a conversation. The other person must agree with the initiated conversation, then respond with “Yes, and…”
The “Yes, and…” signifies to both participants that the scene can continue. You are committed to the scene, and forward momentum of the conversation is set in motion. Often times, improv has odd situations, funny dialogue, funny faces, and lots of laughter. These are just the first two rules of improv, but they really got my attention; to accept the forward momentum, then reply with “Yes, and…”
To me, the scenario of being on a dark stage with a partner, having a conversation in public going in an unknown direction sounds terrifying. But it also oddly familiar.
It occurred to me that most families–especially military families–live some kind of improv every day. And most of us are experts. Think about it: we’re often in situations where we’re in the dark about something (a move, a deployment, etc.), and there we stand with our spouse, waiting to start the dialogue that will move us forward. Usually, it’s the service member who starts the conversation, as they often have the orders causing the rest of the family react with (you guessed it), “Yes, and…”
But some “Yes, and…” responses vary based on the situation. We might have to fight back some tears, and a bit of fear when faced with a deployment, or a move to an unfamiliar place, but we say finally do accept and say, “Yes, and…”
I once said “Yes, and…” but cried while driving away from a beloved duty station, dear friends, and a job I loved. Not exactly a safe way to operate a vehicle, but it’s necessary to continue the scene. Sometimes our “Yes, and…” comes with excitement so hysterically funny that it’s almost YouTube-worthy. I’ve been there, too!
Sometimes, the “Yes, and…” involves a really long pause and a lot of silence as you think about what the right “Yes, and…” is for your family. Maybe you need to stay where you are while your service member is assigned to another duty station for a year. Maybe your “Yes, and…” looks very different from someone else’s. That’s okay.
What’s important is that you say “Yes, and!”
Don’t stop the dialogue. I guarantee you will be laughing at some point…probably at yourself.
What was your hardest “Yes, and…” moment? Tell us about it!