Tag Archives: wounded warriors

Finding the Man She Married: Caregiver Receives Master Bedroom Makeover

For Tanya Abbas, being a military spouse is more than just dealing with deployments and packing up her home every three to four years to move to the next duty station.

Each day, she lays out medication for her husband, Dustin, who suffered a head injury while deployed in Iraq. She manages the household, takes care of her husband, and searches for glimpses of the man she married.

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While Dustin can’t express himself the way he once did, he notices all that she does. Without Tanya knowing, he entered her in our Mother’s Day contest to win a master bedroom makeover from design firm Laurel & Wolf.

“When he got the head injury, he stopped being my husband that I have known for my whole life,” Tanya explains. “And all of a sudden, now I’m having to lay out his meds, and doing things around the house for him, and more than just being a wife.”

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Military spouses are often more than just spouses. They’re support systems, volunteers, and in Tanya’s case, caregivers. Laurel & Wolf and the National Military Family Association partnered in this Master Bedroom Makeover because military families deserve to be recognized.

In 2010, the National Alliance for Caregiving reported 96% of caregivers were women, and 70% provide care to their spouse or partner. After more than a decade of war, service members return home with both visible and invisible wounds, and families become wounded, too.

Beaming with love, Tanya smiles and remembers the man she married, “It’s an indescribable feeling to… look at everything [and know]…that’s because my husband loves me.”

See Tanya and Dustin’s story, along with an awesome before and after of their master bedroom:

Laurel & Wolf :: Master Bedroom Makeover – Arizona from High Res Media on Vimeo.

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Content Development Manager

Want to Take an Adventure with Your Military Family? Check This Out!

healing-adventures-dogsSummer may be winding down, but there are still some awesome opportunities for your military family to take one last trip, and attend one of our Operation Purple Family Retreats or Healing Adventures!

Bring your military family to an Operation Purple Family Retreat and find ways to reconnect after deployment. Or if a war injury has caused a shift in your family dynamic, attending an Operation Purple Healing Adventure will assist families in coping with, and overcoming, injuries and the stresses they cause.

We are still accepting applications for both Operation Purple Family Retreats, and Healing Adventures, but time is running out to take advantage of this FREE experience.

Still want to know more? Check out this military families first-hand account of their experience at a recent Operation Purple Family Retreat, tucked in the beautiful landscape of the Grand Tetons, in Wyoming.

So what are you waiting for? Your families next adventure is awaiting you!

Apply today to attend a Family Retreat or Healing Adventure!

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Content Development Manager

Adjusting to an Unexpected Role: Caregiver

IMG_23000037656571-1Today, many military spouses are taking on a new role besides wife and mom. That new unexpected role is called caregiver. Never in a million years did I think I would become a caregiver at 34. Who knew? Hundreds of military spouses, like me, have taken on the caregiver role more frequently than people can ever imagine due to combat injuries or Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

I don’t think many of us prepared for, or even anticipated, the added job title. Millions of unanswered questions and concerns are now a part of our life. But it doesn’t have to be a confusing and frustrating life. With the right resources, referrals, and people to help, what may seem like an unknown territory becomes manageable by getting information through social networks, and from wonderful organizations such as the National Military Family Association.

At first, I had to dig through a lot of information and learn not to be afraid of asking questions, even if it led me back to square one. Here is some of what I learned:

  • Be sure to attend all or most appointments with your spouse. It is important because you are becoming the advocate, the voice for your service member.
  • If you have a job and can’t get time-off, have someone there that your spouse agrees on. Someone who will relate everything back to you and the doctor if need be.
  • Make sure you have power of attorney for your spouse’s medical records. Medical information will not be released to you if you do not have one due to The Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPPA) of 1996. It doesn’t matter if you’re married or the parent of the service member.
  • Always ask questions if unclear: no question is a stupid question. If you are not getting answers or feel like your service member’s quality care if not up to standard, ask for someone else. It is always your right to obtain the best medical treatment for your loved one.
  • Take time out for yourself, even if it’s a hot bath and reading a magazine. You are no good as a caregiver physically or mentally if you are not well.

Being a caregiver is a continuous responsibility and I believe women, in particular, tend to think they can handle everything themselves. Most may not be as comfortable asking for help, especially when caring for an “invincible” service member. Not asking for help is a mistake—it’s important to get help when you need it and have your own support system in place.

As a caregiver, you can never really ‘get away’—you’re always there. But if you can find time for something else and get away from your daily routine, even for a short while, it can be great for your mind and health.

The best advice I would give to new caregivers is to be patient and be in it for the long haul. No one can tell you how long it will last, or if your spouse will get better. Don’t hesitate to get as much information as possible and know that people are there to support you, to lend a helping hand. You and your loved one are in it together, so just take it one day at a time.

And remember, love takes many forms and whenever you help each other, that form of love binds you closer than you can ever imagine.

Melissa-NovoaPosted by Melissa Novoa, Volunteer, Camp Pendleton, CA

Finding the Silver Lining: Military Family “Wins” in 2013

army-dad-with-babyOver the past few weeks, there has been a lot of talk about the many ways that Washington is breaking faith with military families. Just in the last month, we learned that in 2014 the military will receive a pay increase of only 1 percent – the lowest such pay raise since the creation of the all-volunteer force. At the same time, we were told that cost of living adjustment (COLA) increases to military retiree pensions will be reduced starting in 2016. And just last week we learned the stateside commissaries may be eliminated in the next three years. These blows came at the end of a year in which military families watched as the programs and services they depend on were threatened by budget cuts. Under these circumstances, it’s understandable that military families feel that they are the big losers in Washington’s epic budget battles.

Fortunately, there were a few bright spots for military families in 2013. Both the National Defense Authorization Act (NDAA) and the Bipartisan Budget Agreement (BBA) included provisions to support military families and improve their quality of life.

As a parent, I was particularly pleased to see the NDAA provides a total of $30 million to assist public schools educating large numbers of military-connected children. Even better, the spending bill passed by Congress restored $65 million in Department of Education Impact Aid funds that had been cut by sequestration. These funds are used to compensate school districts for the loss of tax revenue due to the presence of a federal activity or federally connected students (like military kids). These two provisions mean public schools educating military children will receive much-needed financial support in 2014.

In 2013 some retiree families learned that they would no longer be eligible for TRICARE Prime because of the elimination of some TRICARE Prime Service Areas. This change struck many military family members as unfair and disruptive, and Congress agreed. The NDAA offers a one-time opportunity for those families to opt back in to TRICARE Prime. We have not yet received any information from TRICARE about how this policy will be implemented.

The NDAA recognized families of service members in Special Operations Command have unique needs that may not always be met by regular family support programs. To address these needs, Congress authorized $5 million to develop support programs dedicated to those families.

We were gratified to see Congress take on the issue of suicide among service members and military families in the NDAA. Our Association has long been concerned about suicides among military family members. We have heard reports the numbers may be increasing, but currently there is no data on the numbers, the causes, or how they can be prevented. We recommended Congress call for a study on this issue and were especially pleased to see this request included in the NDAA. The legislation also called for enhanced suicide prevention efforts for members of the reserve component.

Finally, we were pleased to see that the NDAA included provisions to care for wounded service members, their families and caregivers, and survivors. DoD was directed to improve assistance for Gold Star spouses and other family members in the days following the death of a service member. The legislation also aims to support wounded service members as they transition out of the military and seek civilian employment by providing additional information about disability-related employment and education protections in Transition Assistance Programs. Congress also directed DoD to provide service members’ medical records to the VA in an electronic format.

In 2014, our Association will continue to fight for programs and services that support service members and their families.

What issues are important for you and your military family? Let us know – and let your Members of Congress know too!
Click here to find contact information for your Representative or Senator.

eileenPosted by Eileen Huck, Government Relations Deputy Director

Honoring Military Caregivers

caregiver1Each November the military Services observe Warrior Care Month to honor the service and sacrifice of wounded, ill, and injured service members, and their families – the caregivers who support them. This year’s theme is Warrior Care – Building a Ready and Resilient Force. The National Military Family Association believes there is a wounded family behind every recovering warrior or veteran. In honor of Warrior Care Month, we are pleased to release Tips from Caregivers for Caregivers. The first compilation of its kind, a resource from seasoned military caregivers for new military caregivers, shares advice and insights to help guide new caregivers.

Tips from Caregivers for Caregivers was made possible through an inaugural Innovation Grant from Caring for Military Families: The Elizabeth Dole Foundation. With the support of this grant, we asked experienced caregivers what advice they would give to a new caregiver. One caregiver noted, “There are two types of support I need as a caregiver: me dealing with my spouse’s injury and me dealing with me dealing with my spouse’s injury.” This is sound advice and emerged as a theme for the tips that fell into two categories: Taking Care of your Recovering Warrior and Taking Care of Yourself.

In addition to Tips from Caregivers for Caregivers, our Association incorporated the information we received from caregivers into the Caregiver Life Path of our MyMilitaryLife mobile app and our website’s caregiver section. We appreciate the support of Caring for Military Family: The Elizabeth Dole Foundation in helping us gather the insights of experienced caregivers for the purpose of helping others. We are honored to release these resources to assist military caregivers as they care for their recovering warrior or veteran.

KatiePosted by Katie Savant, Government Relations Information Manager

My Experience at Operation Purple Healing Adventures

op-healing-advLast month, I had one of the best experiences of my service so far here at the National Military Family Association: I shadowed and assisted our Youth Initiatives team at North Bay Adventures Camp during Operation Purple Healing Adventures, a retreat put on by our Association to support wounded service members and their families.

I had a great time on the giant swing, the zip line, and the ropes challenge course. But the most memorable and rewarding part of the camp was being able to interact with the military families we serve, learning their stories, hardships, and strengths.

Our Association always says that military families are courageous and resilient. At the retreat, I saw, firsthand, just how true that is. The families spoke of their wounds, some visible, many invisible, and how those wounds have affected their lives. Some of the service members had physical scars, but none let those scars stop them from taking part in all the activities the camp had to offer. I saw how the families worked together to assist their service member with everyday tasks, some that I take for granted, which required a little extra effort because of the service member’s wounds.

Many of the service members had the trademark invisible wound of Operations Iraqi Freedom and Enduring Freedom: Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). It was clear in some cases, that PTSD had an impact on the entire family. The families talked about the tension between them, caused by living with a loved one who has PTSD. In some of the families, the children shared how they felt a disconnect with their service member parent, because they had a difficult time adjusting to the new personality changes that PTSD caused.

On the final night of the camp, we had a campfire on the beach. It was then that I saw the true healing and transformative effects of the weekend. Family members, who up until that point had been shy, finally opened up. It was as if all the participants had become one big family, sharing stories and laughter.

I could see the transformation from the anxiety and tension in the families upon their arrival, to this new comfort and closeness. The kids were able to connect with their parents in ways that I hope will continue once they are home.

I am truly thankful for the chance to take part in such a great weekend serving military families with our Association.

Would you like to know more about the Operation Purple Program? Visit our website for details about Operation Purple Camp, Operation Purple Family Retreats, and Operation Purple Healing Adventures.

natePosted by Nate Parsons, Americorps Member

Help Therapy Animals Heal Military Families Today!

therapy-dogs-webAnyone who has ever loved an animal knows how powerful and healing its presence can be.

Specially-trained therapy animals are a tremendous help to military families recovering from war and separation at our Operation Purple® camps and retreats. These families have sacrificed so much, and they struggle with uncertainty and other stress.

Therapy animals—including cuddly cats, loving dogs, gentle horses, and others—help military families break down barriers they can’t themselves. These nurturing animals provide a sense of calm for adults and kids often surrounded by stress. And they lend a feeling of “home.” They allow service members to reconnect, talk more openly about their fears and needs, and solidify fragile bonds with their spouses and children at our camps and retreats.

Please help more military families heal from the physical and emotional wounds of war through the comforting presence of therapy animals today. Donate now!

Has an animal or pet ever helped comfort you through a difficult time?