Tag Archives: moving

What to Expect When Your Move is Unexpected?

box-head-movingAs military spouses, we know to expect the unexpected. Yet, somehow the unexpected often catches me by surprise. Early one morning this past June, I was sipping my coffee and browsing the Internet for exotic European vacation deals. We were beginning the third and final year of our tour in Vicenza, Italy and I didn’t want to miss a thing.

My husband walked into the room holding his Blackberry saying, “We need to talk.” My stomach turned a bit. I knew something was up, but what would it be this time? “I’ve been offered a job in Georgia and I will need to report as soon as possible.” I can’t remember now if I ever answered, or if a flurry of questions about the kids, school, camps, scheduled trips, commitments and so much more simply filled my head.

There are many PCS resources available for military families, but I couldn’t find the one that told us how to successfully complete an overseas PCS within 3 weeks.

Week 1, we scheduled movers, scheduled our flights, spoke with the schools and frantically began researching the city that would be our new home. This move was really happening.

Week 2, purging and organizing was the name of the game. Every closet and room was accosted by every family member – talk about some special bonding time. Week 3 came quickly, the movers arrived and we moved into the hotel on post. Two years had gone by faster than I had realized. Goodbyes are hard, but I found that the unexpected goodbyes were even harder.

Days later, we headed to the airport in the early morning hours. After flight cancellations, delays, and a myriad of other travel issues, we touched down in Atlanta, GA. We had arranged to stay the night with some friends. One night quickly turned into 6 weeks. That’s right… my husband and I, our three children, and our 80-pound Bernese mountain dog moved in with our civilian friends for 6 weeks!

We bought and closed on a house in record time. We balanced work, illness, surgery, and the every-day adjustments due to moving back to the US after our European stay. We registered the kids for schools, sports, and activities in hopes of making some connections before the school year began. As many of you experienced this summer, our car shipment was delayed and our household goods came later than expected. Somehow, as military families often do, we got through it.

There were frustrations and tears mixed with adventures and memories that make me proud of how this lifestyle has molded our family. Each of our children has struggled in one way or another. I could actually write on and on about the pain of watching the kids struggle with what has been the most difficult move each has experienced.

The first quarter of school just ended and autumn has begun. Military kids are resilient and mine are adjusting and thriving and handling struggles as they come their way.

I still find it hard to believe that we completed an overseas PCS in 3 weeks, but we did. I have learned once again that military kids are strong, my husband is a patriot that is honored to fulfill his military duty, my friends are like family, and that home is where the Army sends us.

Kim-EdgerPosted by Kim Edger, Website Architect

All Roads Lead to the Pentagon…I just didn’t know I’d be Driving!

map-of-washington-dcFor many military families, a PCS to Washington, DC is an inevitable stop in a service member’s career, and from some perspectives, viewed as a necessary evil. For me, raised in DC’s military suburbs, it would have been returning home. And as a career civil servant, it represented a virtual mecca of job opportunities compared to alternatives like Fort Rucker, AL or Fort Bliss, TX.

But when my active-duty husband, an E-8 in the US Army, received a diagnosis of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) in Spring of 2013, a PCS to anywhere, much less the Nation’s Capital, seemed unlikely. MS is considered a Service Connected disability, so the only trip the Army had planned for my husband was the long and winding (read: a year and four months counting) road of a medical board and an official status of “unfit for continued military service.”

I’m not going to lie, the diagnosis and its aftermath were hard. Imagine being told you have an incurable neurological condition, and are being removed from your position, becoming non-deployable persona non gratis in your unit. Then you hear, “Thank you very much, but after 22 years we no longer require your service,” all in just a few months time.

We had a rough year, but after being transferred to Fort Campbell’s Warrior in Transition Battalion (WTB), things started looking up. My husband started getting the medical treatment he needed and receiving the compassion he deserved. We started looking forward to the reality of transition from military life, with the primary wrinkle being that we weren’t sure if my husband would be able to work, or what type of work he might be able to do.

I am a planner by nature and by trade. Since childhood, in somewhat paranoid fashion, I’ve developed plans and backup plans for unforeseeable scenarios that, more often than not, never came to pass. But this time, my fastidious obsession with maintaining my own professional career, along with my husband’s, had panned out. I was ready and able to step up and support our family, even in the unexpected scenario where he might not be able to work.

About a year into the medical board, I started applying to positions, since everyone at the WTB insisted that the medical board would be completed, “any day now.” To my surprise, and in record time for a government hiring action, I was offered a position for the first job I ever seriously applied for. Great! But, now we were in the unfortunate position of me having to relocate to a position in DC, while my husband was still stuck in the quagmire of the VA disability ratings process. We didn’t want to be separated, but who knew if his ratings would come in tomorrow, or if I’d have another opportunity like this one. So I accepted the job, but delayed my start date; meanwhile, he started making pesky inquiries about his ratings status.

And then, by a benevolent force that I never knew existed within the DoD, the fine staff of Fort Campbell’s Warrior in Transition Battalion worked out a miraculous transfer for my husband to Fort Belvoir’s Warrior in Transition Battalion to “accompany me” to my new duty station. And they turned the paperwork around in about two weeks! For me, that is concrete proof the Army really does care about transitioning Soldiers and families.

So here we are in NOVA, living the dream; it’s just a dream lived in a different way than the one most military families experience. Yes, it’s a dream that involves living in a home half the size for double the price, but one with a life lived at the center of it all, in a place littered with symbols of the freedom my husband has fought for over the last two decades.

My new job isn’t actually in the Pentagon, but work requires visiting occasionally. I went last week and stood in the hallowed halls (and drank a tall iced caramel macchiato at the Starbucks), and thought about our military journey. My husband’s career didn’t end the way we thought it would, but our path still brought us here, to the center of the military world. That’s the thing about transition…you don’t know where it will lead you, but you will find your way, and there’s a whole world out there to discover.

Posted by Laura Eileen Baie Yates, National Military Association Volunteer, Fort Belvoir, VA

Permanent Change of Sanity: Our Adventures in PCSing

moving-boxes-leftWhen my Marine told me we would be PCSing to TwentyNine Palms, California in January 2015, I thought, “Nice, there is enough time to mentally prepare and work on building my network without the stress of having to do it with only 30 days’ notice.” I felt like the luckiest girl in the world! Thanks Marine Corps; thanks for giving us an opportunity to actually have a solid (and maybe stress free) move!

In my head, I was planning our “Lowes Are Moving” holiday bash, where we would invite over all of our friends for one final toast in the home we had enjoyed for the last several years. We’d have a garage sale, and get rid of all our dead weight from the last few moves…or as we like to call it: unopened boxes with TMO stickers from 10 years ago. There would be going away parties, a few farewell girls’ nights, and some final visits to some of our favorite spots.

Silly me.

My husband came home a few weeks later and said, “Hey, so…our house will be ready in about 10 days, and the movers will be here at the same time.”

I can’t remember the EXACT conversation, but all my ears heard were ten days. 10 DAYS! Just like that. No parties, no final toast, no garage sale.

PCS translated to Permanent Change of Sanity.

This little change in plans ALMOST crushed my soul. I’m not one of those people who can plan and organize a move with the greatest of ease; I need time to mentality prepare. To the spouses who can easily create neatly organized lists: I salute you! I have marveled at your skills for years.

I’m more of an adventure seeker and “I wonder what’s going to happen next?!” type of person. There’s more flying-by-the-seat-of-my-pants than I would like to admit.

If you’ve got a quick PCS coming, take some of my advice:

Don’t stress. Well, a little is okay! Moving is stressful. Try to find ways to cope with the stress. I found a little 45 minute jog does wonders for me. It’s like my reset button. I’m also a big fan of a nice, hot shower to wash off all the cleaning, box dust and stress. Just take a few minutes to decompress.

Get to know your new area…virtually. One of my favorite ways to check out a new duty station is viewing the websites of various organizations. The Marine Corps Community Service page and the Chamber of Commerce are two of my favorite places to start. Are you seeking employment? Check out local job listings and employment pages. Or, are you thinking of a career change, or unleashing your entrepreneurial side? Go ahead and do that! A new duty station is a great opportunity to explore a new career field, or take a class in something you’ve always wanted to learn more about. Look for opportunities to volunteer in that field while you’re fine tuning your skills. I had been active in our previous community, so the sleuthing began as soon as I received our new destination. Is there a local extension of the organizations I have been working with for the last few years? Where is the gym? Are there spouse groups on this base? Who do I know that’s already there? WHO IS THE LOCAL INTERNET PROVIDER?!

moving-with-soldierGet to know your new neighbors. PCS season is virtually year round, so some of your neighbors are new, too! Our new neighbors brought over a delicious homemade pie the second day we were here. When a moving van showed up at the house next to us the week after, we paid it forward. This is the perfect time to ask for referrals, and recommendations for doctors, or places to go and see.
Take care of you. Take a break when you need it and just be. That could mean doing a coffee run for an iced quad venti caramel awesome latte, or just hanging out with your kids in their new park. The boxes will be there when you get back.

Everything is temporary. You know that moment when your family is begging for food and you can’t find plates in the sea of boxes, the dog throws up on the carpet in your brand new home, the cable guy can’t find your address, and your mom is calling NON-STOP to see how things are going? Yeah, that moment is stressful. And that moment is temporary. Just go one box at a time, and one foot in front of the other.

Cleanse and discover! That military ball dress you wore six years ago, that doesn’t quite fit right anymore… get rid of it. Moving is a great opportunity to cleanse your home of things you don’t need, use, or want anymore. And it’s one less thing you have to deal with on the other side. On the flip side, going through all those old boxes gives you the chance to find things that you haven’t seen in years. I found my degrees and awards hanging out with some old papers in a box that wasn’t even opened at our last duty station. That stuff is going on the wall of our new home.

Learn the local language… and other stuff too! Some duty stations require deep learning. At other places, it’s just a matter of getting out in your local community and asking questions. Last weekend, I had dinner with a group of locals who schooled me on the language, places to see, key phrases, and great places to eat (and some to avoid). Apparently, I was interchanging some phrases that didn’t make sense to the locals, and was referring to places that didn’t exist in the context I was using. But I managed to find a great Thai place for dinner (totally picked via Yelp reviews), and it turned out to be one of the best!

One going away party at Denny’s, and four weeks later, we are settling into our new home. We picked up the “Things to Do Guide,” with at least two years’ worth of action packed adventures. So, we started going through it and put things to do in order of awesomeness – which is a great job for kids and teenagers! We found a hiking group, a yoga group, an entrepreneur group, and a pretty great deli. Outside of the new bugs, insects, and strange little footprints I am trying to identify, it’s been a pretty good experience!

I hope your PCS turns out to be a good experience, too!

Have you ever gotten orders and had no time to prepare?

Posted by Sue Lowe, Marine Corps Spouse, TwentyNine Palms Marine Corps Air Ground Combat Center (MCAGG), CA

5 Tips for MilSpouses Moving a Career License or Certifcation

i-just-dont-getYou’ve just invested years of your life getting the education necessary to have a job you think will be fun, earn you some cash, and offer you some PCS portability. You pay a bunch of money to take a test, earn your license or certificate and get to work. Then you get orders to another state, and find out the rules there are different. Your license to work as a dental hygienist, real estate agent, nurse, cosmetologist, teacher, or lawyer (or any number of other career fields) is most likely only valid in the state where you received it. Different states may regulate career fields differently.

So how do you figure out where to start? Here are some tips to guide you:

1.  Go to the Military One Source: Spouse Education & Career Opportunity (SECO) spouse licensing and certification map. Click on the state you’re moving to. If it’s blue, that means they have passed some legislation helping military spouses—but that doesn’t necessarily mean you are in the clear. Keep in mind that EVERY career field is different. Some laws are tailored to only help certain career fields, but those laws designed to help can sometimes vary from state to state. By clicking on the name of the blue states, you’ll find links to the legislation, and information about who, and how it helps.

2.  Do some research and find the licensing or certification board for your career field in the state you are moving to. Read the rules about what is required in that state. Compare it to the rules for licensing and certification for your field in the state where you currently work. You may be able to apply for a license without further coursework. You also may be eligible for a waiver or a reduced licensing fee.

3.  Before you move, prepare and be patient. If you had to test into your career field, it is unlikely that you can go to another state and start working without going through an application process. That takes time and paperwork. Do your best to keep all of your licensing and certification paperwork in order between moves. Keep good records of your work experience, which may also help bridge the gap between state requirements.

4.  Tap into the spouse network. There are networking groups out there specifically for military spouses that can help you with support, advice, connections and information. Business and Professional Women’s Foundation, InGear Career, MilSpouse eMentor Program, are some great networks to get you started.

5.  Still confused? Call and ask to talk to a SECO career counselor at the Military One Source hotline number 1-800-342-9647. SECO has experts who can help you decipher this maze and support you. On that same note, make sure you let Military OneSource know how their resources have worked for you or not worked for you so that they can improve the services they offer.

Moving your home from state to state with each new set of PCS orders can be hard enough. Finding a new job in a new city or state makes it even more difficult. It’s no wonder so many spouses say, “I just don’t get it!” when it comes to moving their career licenses and certifications. With your brains – which we know you have – and a little persistence, you’ll be set up to work in no time!

Do you have any tips for spouses who are trying to move their licenses and certifications to a new state? Share them with us!

Brooke-GoldbergPosted by Brooke Goldberg, Government Relations Deputy Director

5 Ways to Cope With Kids’ Stress During a PCS Move

little-girl-in-boxThe other day I was driving with my two daughters to Walmart for a much needed grocery trip. From the back seat my four-year-old daughter, Whitney, asked for a drink of the diet soda I had sitting in the center console.

“No, you can have some water instead,” I responded.

She flung herself into a full game-on tantrum, sobbing a dramatic performance worthy of an Oscar. It was one of the worst tantrums in a long, long time. We arrived at Walmart and I was relieved to get out of the confined space. But right there in the middle of the street she firmly, stalwartly, planted her feet, still crying hysterically. In we went, crying, screaming Whitney and all.

When the fit continued inside Walmart, I threw my hands up in surrender. This could not possibly be happening over denying her soda. I say no to soda all the time, only allowing sparing sips. Then it dawned on me. She must be stressed out about our quickly approaching 1500 mile permanent change of duty station (PCS) to Fort Bliss, Texas.

And it makes sense, really. A few days after talking to her about moving to Texas, she had a bed-wetting accident twice in one night; the first and only time she has ever done that. Plus, my husband and I have been stressed and emotionally strung-out lately. I know now that she is feeling the trickledown effect with our pending move.

I knew that I needed to create a strategy of keeping a happier home. After some careful thought, I came up with this short list of five ways we deal with child stress during our PCS.

Stick to the routine.
Kids thrive on routine. It’s often hard for me to stop what I’m doing to pick up a book and look into my daughters’ eyes for longer than a nanosecond knowing that I have a moving to-do list up to my ears. Try. Try to welcome the break the best you can. Do it for the littles.

Recognize the emotion out loud.
Young children do not understand what they are feeling. If you put a word to the emotion, it may help them come down out of the red. When my youngest gets extra loud, I explain, I know you’re angry about Whitney not letting you play in her bedroom. That must make you feel sad. KidsHealth.org says, “putting feelings into words helps kids communicate and develop emotional awareness — the ability to recognize their own emotional states.”

little-girl-packing-PCS-boxListen and move on.
While waiting out the Walmart tantrum, Whitney surprised me by taking a breath between sobs (finally!) by saying, “Mommy, I got so mad when you said no to me drinking your soda.” This made me listen to her frustration, talk about it, and move past the stressful moment. Later that evening, she told my husband about her Oscar-worthy performance.

“That’s right,” we said. “That wasn’t a happy moment, and we know that made you feel upset. Now it’s time for bed. Tomorrow will be a new day to laugh and play.”

Involve them in the process.
Allow your children to pack their special items in their very own box. Place it last on the truck, and unpack it first when you arrive. This demonstrates that all of your things from your last home have arrived at your new home. If you hired movers, bling the box out with stickers so it stands out. Or, keep it in your personal vehicle for easy access.

Dance.
When all else fails, have a living room dance party. Seriously! Who can stay mad or stressed when you’re dancing crazy to your favorite songs?

Do your kids show signs of stress before a pending move? What tips and tricks work for your family? Share it with us in the comments!

erin-bettisPosted by Erin Bettis, Army spouse, National Military Family Association Volunteer, Ft. Bliss, TX

 

Your Military Move Just Got Easier With the MyMilitaryLife App!

moving-vanAs a military spouse, you knew this day was coming. We all have our own rituals when those orders arrive. No matter how many times you PCS, it still looks like a chaotic process.

Where to start? Overseas move, kids, pets, jobs, schools, housing, shipping your stuff, making a budget for the move, and TRICARE? It can be overwhelming, but our experts have done their homework and put the resources you need in the palm of your hand.

The Moving Life Path in the MyMilitayLife app has answers to questions you never thought to ask. From the moment you receive orders to the time after arriving at your new destination, the app can walk you through the entire process.

Gone are the hours spent scrolling through hundreds of Google links. MyMilitaryLife app gives you the answers you know you can trust. Plus, share advice and get advice from others along the way!

Beyond answering your questions, MyMilitaryLife app helps you make the right decisions regarding the type of move that is best for your family. It also helps you consider the differences between living on or off your installation. You will find valuable information regarding moving your vehicles, registering to vote, and finding employment opportunities. If you are moving overseas, MyMilitaryLife gears you in the right direction, as well.

When your orders arrive, get excited about your new location and have your smart phone handy. Last, but not least, remember to share this wonderful resource with your military friends and family!

Download MyMilitaryLife App today and let us know what you think!

Marlis Perez RiveraPosted by Marlis Perez Rivera, Mobile Initiatives Content Specialist

 

Military Family Moves: What’s In Your Locker?

lockerNew orders. New home. New start.

For me, there’s something kind of refreshing about PCSing. It’s like the first day of high school all over again. What will it be like? Will they like my outfit? Will I fit in? How will I decorate the inside of my locker?

Decorating my locker was always the hardest part. So many options. Do I want to commit to NSYNC or Backstreet Boys? A magnetic dry erase board or a cork board with cute thumb tacks?

Like I said, so similar to a PCS move…clearly.

So, when it came time for us to PCS a few months ago, I had all the same anxieties I did on the first day of high school. After I jumped in, made some friends, and made my claim on the best lunch table (read: best local watering hole), things started feeling normal.

Until I started to unpack my house and decorate the ol’ “locker.”

There were 10 different pairs of curtains, 8 different curtain rods, beachy-themed décor, manly rustic décor, and mismatched picture frames a plenty. And don’t get me started on the pillows. Oh, were there pillows. The guys who came to pack our house mentioned they hadn’t seen so many pillows in quite a while. (Consider my love of pillows the adult version of my teenage love for NSYNC: Obsessive and slightly embarrassing when someone calls you out on it.)

It was then I realized I had no idea how to redecorate our new house. A smorgasbord of Pier One, Home Goods, and Ikea lay strewn about my house, like puppies waiting for a good home. But the truth was I had no idea where to start.

So I didn’t.

Finally, one day, I just decided to embrace all the mismatched crap. (That should be a bumper sticker: Embrace the Mismatched Crap.)

I started spray painting this, reupholstering that, swapping pillows here, and moving knickknacks there. Sure enough, my empty locker started screaming my name…it felt like MINE. Yet, there was one room I just didn’t know what to do with – our Master Bedroom.

We can change that.

Our Association is teaming up with design firm Laurel & Wolf, to honor military spouses and all of our mismatched crap! (Well, not so much the last part, I guess.)

Laurel & Wolf is giving away a free Master Bedroom Makeover design, plus some FREE décor from some awesome home goods companies!* It’s easy to enter, and anyone who does receives 10% off a Laurel & Wolf Classic Package!

That’s the thing about PCSing, with each move comes the new chance to make it yours. For me (and most of my fellow milspouses), this means making our house a home, and quick. All of the other stuff seems to fall into place once my house is unpacked.

Now the only decision left is: How will you decorate your locker, er, Master Bedroom?

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Online Engagement Manager

 
 
*Laurel & Wolfe contest submissions are due by May 7th.