Tag Archives: military spouses

Sending Holiday Cheer to Service Members: Part 2

This month, we are featuring your letters of love and encouragement to service members in your life. Do you know someone who could use some holiday cheer? Deployed, or at home, let us help you share your love and gratefulness to a service member! Kids can join in, too! Send your letter with a photo to blog@militaryfamily.org.

AJKChristmas

Dear Andrew,

We are so blessed that you will be home to celebrate Christmas with us this year! As we know all too well, so many families aren’t as fortunate. Your dedication to our family and our country inspires me every day. I am so proud of you and the career that you have chosen in the United States Army!

All my love, Lauren


sebastianDear Matt,

Throughout our military life together, the thing that always makes me most proud is to see you set goals for yourself, and work hard to achieve them. Your character and leadership is second to none, and I am lucky to have you. Thank you for taking me on this journey, I’ll get the hang of it one day! I love you, and I love the heart of service you have for your country. You are amazing!

Love, Shannon

 

How do you show the service members in your life that you appreciate them? Tell us below!

Military Spouse Scholarship Opportunities!

man-studyingNational Military Family Association is pleased to announce a new affiliation with the University of Southern California and Georgetown University. With master’s degree programs delivered online, these universities can help you continue your education no matter where military life takes you. Plus, through our Association, program candidates are eligible for scholarship opportunities.

What do YOU want to do?
Each of these programs blends live, online classes taught by university faculty with hands-on field experiences in students’ own communities.

To learn more, choose your field of interest:

Education: Make a Positive Impact in the Classroom — and Beyond
You can create positive learning experiences in a variety of educational settings when you earn your master’s degree in education. Ideal for aspiring or practicing teachers alike, the USC Rossier School of Education offers three online master’s degree programs:

Featuring the same highly selective admissions criteria as the on-campus programs, the USC Rossier’s online master’s degree programs can prepare you to inspire students everywhere.
Pre-Requisites: Bachelor’s degree
Scholarship Opportunity: $5,000
Learn more >>

Social Work: Further Social Justice
The University of Southern California School of Social Work is the first among elite research universities to offer its highly regarded Master of Social Work online. Expand your knowledge and gain in-depth training by choosing a concentration that complements your personal and professional interests — including a specialization in Military Social Work. Taught by renowned faculty and leaders in the field of social work, the online curriculum matches the academic rigor of the on-campus program.
Pre-Requisite: Bachelor’s degree
Scholarship Opportunity: $7,500
Learn more >>

Nursing: Improve the Health and Well-Being of All People
Advance your practice and improve patient outcomes as a nurse practitioner. Georgetown University’s nationally ranked Master of Science degree in Nursing features Family Nurse Practitioner (FNP) and Nurse-Midwifery/Women’s Health Nurse Practitioner specialties. Taught by Georgetown’s highly respected faculty, these programs are designed to provide the next generation of nursing leaders with the insight and knowledge they need to grow professionally and improve the health and well-being of all people.

Pre-Requisite: Registered Nurse (RN) license and a Bachelor of Science degree in Nursing (BSN)
Scholarship Opportunity: $7,500
Learn more >>

No matter where life takes you, never stop learning!

Are you a military spouse going back to school? Tell us what you’re studying!

Send Holiday Cheer to Service Members!

The holiday season is in full swing, and while most of us are keeping the home front warm and cozy, we remember the brave men and women who are protecting our Nation at home, and abroad. No one wishes for peace on Earth more than military families. While we can’t make every wish come true, we can support the ones who wish. Join us this holiday season, in sending well wishes to our service members.

During the month of December, we’d like to feature you and your service member by allowing you to share a holiday message with them. Do you know someone who could use some holiday cheer? Deployed, or at home, let us help you share your love and gratefulness to a service member! Kids can join in, too!

spc-verlanderDear SPC Verlander,

You know all we want for Christmas is you. Well, Christmas is just going to have to come a little late for us, but that’s OK. We don’t care if it’s December or August. It just won’t be Christmas for us without you, but we’ll be brave while everyone else celebrates. We miss you and cannot wait for you to come home! So proud of you babe! Love you so very much!!

-Mandi

Share your message by emailing it to us at blog@militaryfamily.org. Feel free to send a picture of the service member you’re writing to! ‘Tis the season!

Shannon-SebastianPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Online Engagement Manager

Are You A Career-Minded Military Spouse? Join This Network!

in-gear-careerMilitary spouses face particular challenges when it comes to maintaining or developing their professional career. More often than not, being married in the military means either giving up your career goals or having to constantly reinvent yourself and prove your worth in job markets across the globe.

In Gear Career is a nonprofit aiming to revolutionize the way career-minded military spouses network and gain access to top executives in their career field.

“We don’t just want to be an organization for job seekers, we really want to be an organization that allows like-minded spouses to get together,” says Amanda Patterson Crowe, Executive Director and Tampa Chapter Leader for In Gear Career. She explains the idea of each local chapter is to help spouses network and find interviews in their field without the feeling of starting over in each community where they may move. By forming a relationship with the Chamber of Commerce and receiving job listings, In Gear Career has been successful in introducing military spouses to employers and getting them job interviews.

Professionally-focused military spouses can feel isolated and silenced in the military community. “By having like-minded individuals around, it’s the first time you are kind of relaxed in the military community and, all of a sudden, you realize that you never knew there were so many people like you,” says Lauren Weiner, President of Wittenberg-Weiner Consulting and Board Director of In Gear Career.

Lauren started facing the adversities of the military life after quitting her job as a senior government civilian at the Office of Management and Budget in the Executive Office of the President in order to follow her husband on a Department of Defense assignment in Italy.

When Lauren arrived in Italy she was told that as a 30 year old military spouse, she may be offered a secretarial position, at best. In a couple of months, Lauren decided to start her own company, Wittenberg-Weiner Consulting (WWC), with military spouses being the initial group they hired.

“We found out that not only were [military spouses] amazing as employees, but they all faced similar situations. They have all felt very alone in the military community,” Lauren says.

The story of In Gear Career starts in 2009, when Haley Uthlaut, a military spouse, veteran, and current Board of Directors member, approached Lauren and Donna Huneycutt, owners of WWC, to support and implement the idea of a nonprofit organization that enabled military spouses to pursue professional careers. Lauren describes it as “an outgrowth of what [they] found as military spouses and what [they] found by employing military spouses.”

In Gear Career local networking events are an unparalleled opportunity to connect and share your experience with other highly successful military spouses in your region. The topics of discussion are carefully chosen in accordance with the needs expressed by military spouses.

“We want to allow spouses to help each other and make those connections with one another,” explained Amanda. She encourages spouses who do not have a local chapter in the area to reach out to her through the In Gear Career website, or via email at ingearcareer@ingearcareer.org. Amanda will still put out emails and referrals for military spouses regardless of where they are stationed.

Lauren’s advice to military spouses is to “stay professional. If you stay tenacious, if you stay flexible in the way that you approach everything, it is not only possible to maintain a professional career, but to actually to come up with your own trajectory that is different and even better than it would have been if you weren’t a military spouse.”

Our Association is pleased to have worked with In Gear Career from its inception, and appreciate the one-on-one career networking support they provide to military spouses.

Have you had any hardships as a working military spouse? How did you overcome them?

Marlis Perez RiveraPosted by Marlis Perez Rivera, Content Manager for MyMilitaryLife

Joanne Holbrook Patton Military Spouse Scholarship: Apply Dec 1!

Female-Psychology-StudentIt’s all in a name.

In this case, that name is Joanne Holbrook Patton. Joanne is a fifth generation Army daughter, and was married to the late Major General George S. Patton IV for 52 years. She has served graciously as a volunteer for the Red Cross, Army Community Service, and the National Military Family Association. She believes strongly in the importance of education for military spouses.

In 2005, the National Military Family Association renamed its scholarship program in her honor. In the ten years since the program’s inception, we have awarded more than 2,700 military spouses with over $2.4 million towards their education and careers.

Over the years, the scholarship program has adapted to the ever-changing military lifestyle. The ‘mobile’ lifestyle requires that spouses have portable careers – those that can be restarted in any state or overseas – in order to remain in the job market after each move. Often times, spouses already own a degree, or may be pursuing a degree, and return back to school to find a career that is more portable. The return to education comes at their own expense. The Joanne Holbrook Patton Military Spouse Scholarship Program is here to help alleviate the cost of schooling, licensure and certification.

Based on the current shortfall of professionals in the mental health field, we believe the military community will continue to suffer unless we devote efforts to developing a future workforce of individuals trained in these specialties. This year, UnitedHealth Foundation has made it possible for the program to cover clinically supervised hours for spouses with a Master’s degree in Psychology, Psychiatry, Social Work, or Counseling, who are pursuing clinical licensure in the mental health arena. In partnership with the UnitedHealth Foundation, we are striving to build an education to employment pipeline for mental health providers.

Wartime realities increase the importance and difficulties of military spouse education. Extraordinary battlefield medicine saves lives that would have been lost in prior wars – but many of the wounded are no longer able to work.

Military spouses require increased educational opportunities to help prepare for “the unthinkable.” In the event that the service member has been wounded, a better education can allow a spouse to rebuild their family, and pursue careers best suited to supporting them long term. To aid such situations, our program offers scholarships to spouses of the wounded and fallen.

Ten years later, we are still inspired by Joanne Holbrook Patton. She exemplifies what it means to serve, and even today, is avid supporter of military spouses.

If you are a military spouse heading back to school, signing up for a licensure exam or pursing a certification, remember to apply to the Joanne Holbrook Patton Military Spouse Scholarships opening December 1st. Applications are accepted through our website.

See a full list of eligibility requirements here.

alliePosted by Allie Jones, Military Spouse Scholarship Program

How Do You Keep Busy During Deployments?

Half-marathon-with-RickTwo years ago, I ran the Marine Corps 10K race for the first time. It was the longest run I had ever done in my life up to that point. I trained for that run because, like many who find themselves with a spouse deployed, I had a lot of time on my hands, and I needed a healthy distraction. So for months I would drag myself out of bed early on the weekends to do a “long” run while my husband was away.

I started running with the goal of lasting 20-30 minutes without stopping. It was the middle of a typical hot and humid Washington, D.C. summer, so this was no easy feat. Each week, I would increase my time by 5 minutes, or at least run for the same amount of time as the previous week. And every week, I would Skype, email, or tell my husband on the phone the update on my progress.

I didn’t have a formal training plan; I thought that if I gradually increase my running time, I would eventually cover 6.2 miles, which is the length of a 10K run.

Once I committed to do the race and paid the registration fee, there was still a nagging doubt that I could reach the finish line. I had run many 5K’s before, and regularly exercised. But the thought of running more than five miles seemed so out of reach for me.

Looking for more incentive, I signed up to help raise money for the George Washington University Cancer Institute. I was a graduate student at the school, and had many family members affected by cancer, so I was happy to join the team of runners to raise money for cancer programs and research.

On race day, I bundled up — it was an unusually cold October morning — and off I went, running with thousands of people happy and excited to be there. Thousands more spectators lined the road cheering us on, carrying signs like, “Don’t stop now, people are watching,” “Worst parade ever,” and “You’re running better than the government.”

Before I knew it, I was nearing the finish line, and couldn’t believe I hadn’t fainted! The Marine Corps 10K was exhilarating and exhausting, and had me hooked. I had no intention of stopping now that I had I found my stride, so to speak. When my husband returned from his deployment, I had to convince him to run with me. He wasn’t used to running without a physical fitness test looming.

Since that deployment-inspired Marine run, I have participated in the Army, Air Force, and Navy runs, as well as a few other races in Washington, D.C., and on October 26, 2013, I ran in the Marine Corps 10K again as part of the TAPS Run & Remember Team, which pays tribute to the sacrifices made by our military service members, and raises funds to create awareness and support programs for military families.

We might not have a deployment scheduled any time soon, but we continue to run. Our weekend workouts have become part of our routine now, an activity I look forward to all week long.

What activities do you like to do during your service member’s deployments? Share it in the comments section!

lalaine-estellaGuest Post by Lalaine Estella Ricardo, National Military Family Association Volunteer

The Disney World of Jobs: Dreams do come true!

shannon-sebastian-jacey-eckhartIt’s not every day that the “perfect” situation presents itself – especially in a military family. No perfect deployments, no perfect PCS moves, holidays, or long term plans. In military terms, “perfect” is when the barber doesn’t mess up your husband’s haircut, or when the movers don’t break your favorite serving dish while moving your belongings from duty station to duty station.

In most cases, the term “perfect” doesn’t apply to jobs for military spouses. In fact, the words “perfect job” and “military spouse” are hardly ever in the same sentence.

Four months ago, I was convinced that what it meant to be a working military spouse meant I would always have to settle for whatever job I could find in the area around where we were stationed. Settle for less money than I deserved. Settle for just going to a place other than my house for 8 hours a day. Settle for doing work that didn’t bring me joy. Settling meant the dream job remained just that…a dream.

When my husband and I moved to our current duty station in May 2011, it took me six months to find a job. As a working military spouse, we get used to the idea that our resumes will most often look…schizophrenic. You’ll see everything from retail store manager, to receptionist, to business owner, to stay-at-home mom. All within a two year span of time.

I applied for more than 80 positions in those six months. Ultimately, I accepted a position in a field I was familiar with and had a few years of experience doing. After a few weeks there, I would dread waking up on week days only to go to a job that I considered a dark, dark abyss of crushed dreams and accepted failure.

Yes, I was bringing home a paycheck, and I was thankful to have a job. Believe me, I was very thankful. The military doesn’t pay for everything, as you know. But I thought this was what it meant to be a working military spouse. We take what we can get, right? We are resilient. We make the best of the worst situations, right?

In February, I saw something on Facebook that I hoped would change my life.

“Are you in need of a career makeover? Are you in driving distance of Washington, D.C.? SpouseBUZZ is looking for spouses who want a career makeover at our Spouse Summit on April 12. Interested? Email your career story and/or resume to us!”

spouse-buzz-summit

I saw the advertisement for Military.com’s Spouse Summit, a conference for military spouses to support each other in the most important topics of military life: Love. War. Kids. Work. Transition.

Work? Why, yes, I’ll take all the help I can get in that area.

Prior to attending, I stepped out of my comfort zone and shared my career troubles with Military.com’s Director of Spouse and Family Programs, Jacey Eckhart. Before I knew it, I was speaking in front of a room full of career specialists, professionals, and peers in a session focused on career struggles of military spouses.

At the end of the ‘career makeover’ session, a few representatives from the National Military Family Association approached me, introduced themselves, and gave me all the information they knew about spouse education scholarships, spouse employment, and even mentioned that the Association was hiring. For a blogger, no less! They were so bubbly, friendly, and genuinely cared about sharing information.

They told me about a magical place where people actually enjoy going to work. A place where they like the people they work with. Apparently, in this magical place, military spouses can thrive in careers they love while reaching out and helping other military spouses and families!

A few months later, I was hired by the National Military Family Association as the Online Engagement Manager. Part of my job (get this!) is managing this blog!

All of the things I put on paper at the Spouse Summit were coming true.

Working with the military community? Check.

Portability? Check.

Great office environment with an awesome boss? Double check.

Whether your perfect job is to be the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, or bake zero-calorie cupcakes all day long (please bring me some), enjoying and loving the job you do makes all the difference.

I never thought I’d find a “perfect job.” I figured this was my sacrifice in our military family. But now I know differently. When the perfect anything comes along, it is not by chance. It’s put in front of you for a purpose. What you choose to do with it determines whether you were worthy of it to begin with.

You are worthy of your perfect job. Now go and get it!

Have you ever stepped outside of your comfort zone and had something awesome happen? Leave a comment and share it with us!

Shannon-SebastianPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Online Engagement Manager

Same-Sex Spouses: Welcome!

same-sex-military-coupleIt’s been over a month since same-sex spouses could register in the Defense Enrollment Eligibility Reporting System (DEERS) and receive a brand-new military family member ID and all the benefits it encompasses.

We have heard of the overwhelming welcome that these just-recognized military spouses have received. We have also heard of their pride in their new-found recognition as a military spouse.

In case you haven’t heard, once a spouse is enrolled in DEERS, he or she is eligible for the whole array of military benefits.

The most important benefits to most service members and their spouses are:

  • Military Family Member Identification Card
  • TRICARE health care coverage
  • Dependent-rate housing allowance
  • Eligibility for the family separation allowance
  • Ability to move off base to live with a spouse
  • Command-sponsored visas
  • Access to military installations and facilities, including: commissaries, exchanges, and Morale, Welfare and Recreation (MWR) centers; Family Center programs
  • Joint Duty Assignments
  • Access to legal assistance

The spouses of service members may also invoke the protections of the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA), which provides certain protections from civil actions against service members who are called to active duty.

While military affiliated same-sex married couples are protected under Federal law, there are some states that don’t recognize same-sex marriage and may create stumbling blocks in accessing state benefits or services.

A recent example includes the refusal of National Guard armories in Texas, Oklahoma, Louisiana, and Mississippi to issue military ID cards to same-sex spouses because same-sex marriages are illegal in those states.

You should also check on other state legal requirements such as those associated with adopting biological children, or limitations to joint home-ownership. There may also be problems with accompanied assignments to countries where homosexuality is illegal.

The information landscape is in a state of constant change so check back with our website, and the Military Partners and Families Coalition, for updates.

New military spouses – welcome! Consider this your symbolic swat with the saber. And know that we are here to provide you and your military family the same helpful information and resources that we have been offering to all military families for more than 40 years.

kathyPosted by Kathleen Moakler, Government Relations Director

Following My Fitness Dream!

Run-Amuck-2013-015For years, I have been following a need: the need to provide stability for our family while supporting my husband’s career in the Navy.

At one time, the Navy was my career as well. I knew being a Naval Officer was not where I was meant to be, but it appears to be exactly what my husband was destined for. I was happy he found his calling. I didn’t mind staying at home and handling the everyday stress and roller coaster ride of being a military family…for a while.

After my second daughter was born, I struggled with postpartum depression. I figured it would pass, but a year later, I was still not “myself.” I did a lot of soul searching and realized I wasn’t doing anything for myself. How could I be myself when I wasn’t living the life I wanted?

Part of the reason I joined the military was to further my education. I had earned the GI Bill, but had yet to use it four years after separating from the Navy. In college, I played sports and lifted weights, but I hadn’t done either since leaving the Navy.

I knew it was time to reclaim the things I loved. I joined a local gym, and began playing in a volleyball league. It took months to really motivate myself to get to the gym just three days a week. I started to feel stronger and happier. I knew, from past experience, the euphoria one feels after completing a difficult challenge.

I decided to challenge myself. I signed up for my first 5K race. Despite my physical training in the Navy, I never considered myself a runner. I hated running! That’s exactly why I had to do it. If I could just finish, I would get a small taste of that sense of accomplishment. While I didn’t break any records, I had a blast. I was hooked.

I began to look at working out and running as my anti-depressant. It is amazing the clarity that comes during a run, or after a tough workout. Nothing else matters anymore. You can do anything. I wanted to share this feeling with everyone.

Using the GI Bill I had earned, I became a certified personal trainer. For the past five years, I have been learning as much as possible about health and fitness. A Master’s degree was simply the next challenge.

I am currently completing my graduate education in Exercise Science and Health Promotion and continuing to improve my own health and fitness. As challenging as it is to balance my kids, my school work, and my husband’s ridiculous schedule, I couldn’t be happier.

Depression is no match for the enlightening powers of exercise, and the euphoria of accomplishment. My greatest hope is to pay it forward. I want to teach my fellow military spouses and children that exercise and good health is one of the best ways to handle this crazy adventure of military life.

Now instead of a need, I am following a dream.

MelissaGuest Post by Melissa Wilkerson, Joanne Holbrook Patton Military Spouse Scholarship Recipient

FAQ Series: Domestic Violence Awareness month

domestic-violence1October is a national Domestic Violence Awareness month and a time to remind military families about the available prevention resources in your community. As a mobile population, military families may not be familiar with navigating local resources or know where to go for help.

If you’re the victim of domestic abuse, you may have thought for months or years about leaving the relationship. But leaving is scary, and it’s hard to do. Victims often feel trapped and very much alone. They may fear for their own and their children’s safety. Or they’re financially dependent on the abuser and may have no means of support. Within military families, victims are also likely to be far from their support system of family and friends back home.

Victims who need to get out of an abusive relationship can get support from the military, but they also need help and encouragement from friends, relatives, co-workers and trusted professionals. With planning and support, you can build a healthy and safe new life for yourself and your children.

Q: How do I come up with a safety plan?
A: Contact the Family Advocacy Program (FAP) office on your installation to request a victim advocate. A victim advocate can give you information about reporting options and services for victims, including help finding a shelter or other safe place to go. Once you have a safe place to go, talk to trusted friends or family members about the situation. Come up with a code word or signal so that confidant knows when to call for help. Go over safety plans with your children. Teach your children how to call 911 if they need help. Most importantly, plan ahead in case you need to leave on short notice. Gather important documents in one place, preferably away from where you live.

Q: Are there any legal actions I can take?
A: You can get a restraining order or Military Protective Order (MPO) to discourage your spouse from returning home, entering your place of work, or contacting your children. A restraining order or MPO can usually be extended to child-care centers or providers. Remember that neither a restraining order nor an MPO will prevent your spouse or partner from returning home or entering your workplace, but it does make it illegal for him or her to do so. Contact an attorney or court advocate specializing in domestic abuse. He or she can explore custody, visitation, and divorce provisions to protect you and your children. Your Legal Assistance Office can help you obtain legal information and provide general guidance. For issues such as child custody and divorce proceedings, they will refer you to legal services in the civilian community.

Q: I feel like no one understands the situation. Where can I turn for help?
A: Find your local FAP office by using the locator at Military INSTALLATIONS or calling your installation operator or Family Support Center. Call a domestic abuse hotline. They are available twenty-four hours a day at the National Violence Hotline (888-799-SAFE [7233]) and can help you find shelter, counseling, support groups, job training, and legal assistance in your area. Utilize any support group you can. While you may feel alone, many others have also suffered domestic abuse. By joining a domestic abuse support group, you’ll gain strength and support from being around them.

(Source: http://www.militaryonesource.mil/monthly-focus?content_id=266708)