Tag Archives: military spouses

These MilSpouse Bloggers Got It Going On!

With more of our family members joining social media, it’s getting easier for military families, like mine, to keep loved ones updated with our lives—especially if OCONUS orders send us overseas. Many military spouses turn to the interweb to document their own military journeys, and many have found their way to blogging.

Blogging has quickly become a great way for military spouses to find others in the same boots, and some online friendships turn into real life friendships. If you’re a military spouse looking for a new way to keep the family updated with stories and photos – try blogging.

And while you’re at it, you have to check out some of our favorite military spouse bloggers:

My Camo Kids: An Army Wife Life
Wife of an Army Infantryman, registered nurse Lora’s blog shares the wild and crazy that comes with having 5 kids, from ages 15 to age 4! She chronicled her husband’s three deployments, and writes about her journey towards becoming a Nurse Practitioner. If there’s one thing we know, it’s that Lora knows how to keep the plates spinning!

My-Camo-Kids-Blog

Embrace the Adventure
Jordan, a deep-rooted southerner who married her college sweetheart, a United States Marine, uses her lifestyle blog, Embrace the Adventure, to do just that: embrace, navigate, and appreciate the unique and fulfilling lifestyle that the military has to offer. With a captivating smile and spectacular photos of her family’s life in the Golden State, Jordan’s blog instantly makes you feel like you found a new friend.

Embrace-the-change

Ramblings of a Marine Wife
If you want humor, Kara’s blog is the first stop. This working mom of two and Marine wife holds an MBA, and a witty take on life. From What She Wore Wednesday posts of her sassy (and dressed-better-than-us) daughter, to sharing all the best details from their family’ tour in Okinawa, Ramblings of a Marine Wife is one to add to your daily reads.

Ramblings-of-a-Marine-Wife

SpouseBUZZ
If you have ever googled anything military related, you’ve probably landed on SpouseBUZZ before. That’s because the Military.com owned site doesn’t leave any topic unturned. From “What not to wear to a military ball” to asking blunt questions, like “Why the low expectations for military spouses?” SpouseBUZZ lets your voice be heard. And we’ll be the first to tell you: all the juicy conversations happen in the comment sections.

SpouseBUZZ

Jo, My Gosh!
Started as an outlet to share the creative care packages she was sending to her then-fiancé during his deployment, Jo, a Navy wife, continues to share her creativeness with care packages. But now, she also gives a true taste of what military life has been like for her, with stories, tips, and a list or two from the now-seasoned military spouse.

Jo-My-Gosh

M.O.M (My Own Moment)…Please!
Jennifer is a Navy spouse, mom of two children, and one crazy English Bulldog. She’s the founder of MilitaryOneClick.com, and blogs about real life: the good, the bad and the ugly (including the time she had to scrub baby poop off her husband’s forehead while in public). So, naturally, sometimes she just wants to scream, “Can I have My…Own… Moment…please!?”

Mom-Please

Who are some of your favorite MilSpouse bloggers? Tell us in the comments!

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Content Development Manager

Silently Serving: Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and each day, military families face this silent war in their own homes. Over the last five years, the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marine Corps, together, averaged just less than 8,000 domestic violence complaints per year. 

And the domestic violence battle rages on, thanks to the rough road spouses face when they report domestic abuse. We urge the Department of Defense to create a better environment for reporting abuse, so spouses can ask for help and know they’ll get it.

Military families shouldn’t serve silently.

For information on Military Protective Orders, or other resources to help, visit: www.MilitaryOneSource.mil, or www.MilitaryFamily.org.

Read more about DoD’s efforts to prevent and treat domestic violence,

Survive and Thrive: Embassy Duty!

After almost 24 years of moving around with my husband, I didn’t think any new assignment would faze me. Then the Air Force sent us to Quito, Ecuador, an assignment without a military base. And we’re not alone—many military families live in cities around the world without the kind of support we’re used to seeing. No commissary, no base exchange, no military hospital, or community center.

Assignments like these are most common in the Army, where junior officers start off as Foreign Area Officers (FAO) and eventually end up as attachés at many US Embassies around the world. But more senior officers in other services are offered opportunities as well. And where would any good Defense Attaché Office be without support staff? Jobs for both junior and senior enlisted exist in all services in just about every location.

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If you’ve only been to large bases where there are strict rules about socializing between officers and enlisted, an Embassy assignment might come as a bit of a shock. The military is only a small portion of the Embassy whole, and part of our job is to blend with the State Department culture.

Survival tip #1. Be prepared to leave your military etiquette at the door (but don’t throw it away completely).

State Department employees and their families don’t have strict delineations between staff, so everyone socializes with everyone else. In fact, on many Friday nights, the Marine House is the go-to spot to meet everyone. And because many spouses end up employed at the Embassy, the combinations of who works in which office, and who works for whom can be rather overwhelming. But it’s also how everyone knows how to support everyone else. It may seem a little incestuous at first, but if you aren’t in the loop, support can seem lacking.

Survival tip #2: Find a way to belong to the Embassy community, whether it’s as a valued employee, volunteer, or an often seen participant in community functions.

With these two tips, you’re going to survive. But we want more than that. We want you to thrive! That sometimes means stepping outside of your comfort zone. Living overseas most often means dealing with a new language. It always means dealing with a new culture. It is possible to make a life that revolves simply around the Embassy community. In fact, I would highly recommend taking advantage of the trips offered by the Community Liaison Office (CLO), and joining the group language classes offered by the Embassy community, especially when you first arrive.

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But to thrive, you’re going to need a comfort level with the local language so you can leave that safe place and enter the world around you. You’ll want to purchase food at the local markets, speak to your neighbors in their native tongue, and have the mechanic fix your car. Waving hands and smiling can only get you so far, and after a year in country, it will be downright depressing not to be able to ask for a ripe avocado instead of the unripe ones offered.

My tips for immersing in the local culture include getting to know other foreign spouses. If the United States has an Embassy at your location, so do many other nations. Here in South America, the majority comes from Latin American countries, and the common language is Spanish. That doesn’t mean I won’t find English speakers. But in order to thrive, I’ve forced myself to speak Spanish beyond my comfort level. I make mistakes and laugh at myself when others point them out. And by doing so, I’ve learned that Spanish-speakers make mistakes, too. A common word in most of Latin America is a swear word in Argentina. It’s funny to watch the face of an Argentine when someone from Venezuela is saying the equivalent of the “F word” in the middle of a pretty mundane conversation. Moments like that happen all the time, but unless you understand what is going on, you miss out. And when you miss out, you feel like you don’t belong.

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My final tip for thriving is to make friends with the locals. Many already work at the US Embassy, so they’re easy to find, and are often very willing to share their favorite restaurant recommendations, or the best place to spend a weekend away. Your spouse will know more than a few local military because of his or her job. Getting to know those folks can be very rewarding. We found an acting coach for my son through a retired Ecuadorian officer’s wife, who also happens to be an actress. That simple introduction has made my son’s Ecuadorian experience much richer.

My example of thriving comes from friending the wife of a local military officer on Facebook. She noticed my love of photography and my love-affair with her country. This opened a new door for me – she and her husband have introduced me to people and places I would never find in a guide book. They’ve opened their hearts and minds and in return, I offer them friendship. At the end of the day, and at the end of any military tour, it’s the friendships that help us thrive.

angie-drakePosted by Angie Drake, Air Force spouse, and blogger at Not Your Average American, Quito, Ecuador

Finding the Man She Married: Caregiver Receives Master Bedroom Makeover

For Tanya Abbas, being a military spouse is more than just dealing with deployments and packing up her home every three to four years to move to the next duty station.

Each day, she lays out medication for her husband, Dustin, who suffered a head injury while deployed in Iraq. She manages the household, takes care of her husband, and searches for glimpses of the man she married.

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While Dustin can’t express himself the way he once did, he notices all that she does. Without Tanya knowing, he entered her in our Mother’s Day contest to win a master bedroom makeover from design firm Laurel & Wolf.

“When he got the head injury, he stopped being my husband that I have known for my whole life,” Tanya explains. “And all of a sudden, now I’m having to lay out his meds, and doing things around the house for him, and more than just being a wife.”

Laurel-and-Wolf-Winner1

Military spouses are often more than just spouses. They’re support systems, volunteers, and in Tanya’s case, caregivers. Laurel & Wolf and the National Military Family Association partnered in this Master Bedroom Makeover because military families deserve to be recognized.

In 2010, the National Alliance for Caregiving reported 96% of caregivers were women, and 70% provide care to their spouse or partner. After more than a decade of war, service members return home with both visible and invisible wounds, and families become wounded, too.

Beaming with love, Tanya smiles and remembers the man she married, “It’s an indescribable feeling to… look at everything [and know]…that’s because my husband loves me.”

See Tanya and Dustin’s story, along with an awesome before and after of their master bedroom:

Laurel & Wolf :: Master Bedroom Makeover – Arizona from High Res Media on Vimeo.

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Content Development Manager

Give Us Your Tips to Survive and Thrive at Your Duty Station!

Calling all military family members! spouses-sit-outsideWe’re looking for guest bloggers to share their tips, tricks, stories, and encouragement with other readers, and we’d love to feature you!

We’re working on a series dedicated to sharing awesome tips for Surviving and Thriving at different duty stations around the world. Have you been stationed in Okinawa, Japan for so long, you’re pretty sure you’re fluent in the language? What in the world is there to do near good ‘ol Camp Lejeune, North Carolina? Are the spouse clubs in San Diego as rad as they sound? Tell us!

We want to hear from you…yes, you…in Weisbaden, Germany, and you in Whidbey Island, Washington!

Tell us how you survive and thrive in your town! Join a great couponing class? Or a running club? Have you gone camping at a breathtaking location? And why not let the kids join in? What are their favorite things to do and see around your town?

If you have some advice or tips to share, send your original work to us at Blog@MilitaryFamily.org. Make sure you include your name, a clear headshot of yourself, along with your current duty station and the town it’s in. And, of course, share 4-5 tips (or more!) with other military families so they can survive and thrive if they ever find themselves in the same place.

If you’re interested in contributing, but are not quite sure you’re the best writer, leave a comment and we’d be happy to get in touch with you to help find your inner writing voice!

Military life is crazy…but with a little help from those who have gone before us, we’ll be able to survive and thrive!

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Content Development Manager

 

Navigating the TRICARE maze: Prime vs. Standard

tricare-prime-vs-standardCo-pays.

Cost-shares.

In-network vs. out-of-network.

I’ll have a whole new vocabulary once I master the TRICARE maze!

For the past 9 years, I’ve used TRICARE Prime. I’ve seen doctors at Military Treatment Facilities (MTFs) and in town. I thought I scored big time when I was assigned a Primary Care Manager (PCM) out in town because the base was too full to take new patients. When we were stationed outside of Washington D.C., I navigated between multiple MTFs to get the care I needed.

It’s not a perfect system and there are some glitches. For example, accessing records between an Army hospital and a Navy hospital…let’s just say it doesn’t work as well as it should. The different systems don’t always “talk” to each other, which means you may need to hand-carry records, especially ultrasounds, MRIs, or other digital images between MTFs. And if you do see a civilian provider off the installation you’ll also need to carry records between providers.

With Prime, one thing I never had to worry about was cost. As long as I had referrals and pre-authorizations – I had minimal co-pays, if any at all. In fact, I had our first son while covered under Prime and don’t recall paying anything for my prenatal care, labor, delivery, or post-partum care. I attended child birth classes, met with a lactation consultant, took an infant CPR class, and even left the hospital with a bag full of goodies for our newborn.

Four years later, we are expecting our second and I decided to switch to TRICARE Standard. Why? Because when I got pregnant, I was recalled by the MTF, even though I live more than 30 miles from an MTF and was already seeing a civilian provider in town. And, unfortunately, the MTF I was recalled to doesn’t have the providers I need. I didn’t want to navigate appointments in opposite directions driving 30 miles one way to the MTF and 30 miles in the opposite direction to specialists.

I thought I understood the deductible, co-pays, and cost-shares under TRICARE Standard. Yet, maternity care has its own set of cost-shares, too. I’ve learned to keep copies of my Explanation of Benefits (EOBs) and any bills I receive directly from a provider. I call my regional contractor frequently to review claims and ask questions. I discovered my OB’s billing office isn’t an expert on TRICARE billing, and as a result, I was being overcharged. I had the same problem with overcharges for lab work, too.

And I discovered the hospital education benefits I enjoyed at the MTF with my first pregnancy aren’t covered. There is a fee to take a child birth refresher class or meet with a lactation consultant.

Our second baby is due in a few short weeks and overall I’m happy with the quality of care we are receiving under TRICARE Standard. I’ve learned I have a role to play in keeping costs down by asking questions about coverage, reviewing bills, reading the TRICARE website, and talking to my regional contractor to understand our benefit. TRICARE Standard has given me the flexibility to see the providers I prefer, but it comes at a cost.

What are your experiences with TRICARE Prime vs. TRICARE Standard? What would you recommend to other military families?

katie2Posted by Katie Savant, Government Relations Information Manager

I Just Don’t Get…the Ever-Complaining Military Spouse

i-just-dont-get“Ugh! Just had to wait for 30 minutes to get a prescription from the MTF!”

“Seriously, I am so tired of ‘mandatory fun’ – what’s fun about it?”

“I can’t wait for us to get out of the military! If I have to deal with one more holiday alone…”

Do you know a fellow military spouse who’s a constant flow of negativity—always complaining about military life and everything that goes with it? From their spouse’s duty weekend to the terrible selection of ketchup at the Commissary – nothing is off limits. And it all gets aired on social media.

I just don’t get it.

Military life isn’t always sunshine and unicorns (can it be, please?), but it is something special. We have a secret weapon most civilian spouses don’t: a built-in community of support…each other.

No matter where you PCS, there’s a neighbor in base housing who understands the frustration of raising toddlers, a FRG leader who knows the perfect dentist out in town, or a spouse in your command who loves wine as much as you do.

So why is nothing ever good enough for that ever-complaining milspouse?

What I love so much about this military community is the camaraderie and pride we all seem to share. Maybe the ever-complaining milspouse hasn’t had a chance to see how supportive we can be. I have to think that if they did, they’d see how important it is to be that pillar of strength for someone else. It’s our duty as military spouses to pay it forward. Be supportive. Share resources. Do for others.

That’s the only way we can ensure the complainers become extinct – by doing our part to make the camaraderie live on.

Maybe then, there might not be as much to complain about.

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Online Engagement Manager