Tag Archives: military partners

Know a military spouse? Here are 6 suggestions on how to show your appreciation!

Posted on May 10, 2013 | 3 Comments

Know a military spouse? We've got suggestions on how to show your appreciation!Today is Military Spouse Appreciation Day! Whether you are a military spouse or not, often times people are not sure how to thank spouses for their dedication and sacrifice. It’s easy to acknowledge and thank a service member, but how do you thank those who hold down the fort, raise our Nation’s children, and keep our service members in the fight each and every day? They don’t wear a uniform, but they serve too.

Well, we’ve got you covered with some help from our dear friends! Chris Pape, founder of Macho Spouse, provides his tips on appreciating our male military spouses and Alice Swan, blogger at DCMilitaryFamilyLife.com, offers her advice on how to pamper our female military spouses.

Got A Male Spouse You Want to Thank?

Chris Pape shows us that the best way to show appreciation for a male military spouse is to keep it simple, genuine, and acknowledge that they are out there!

Neighbors: Do you live near a military family where the serving member is female? If so, congratulations! You’ve found the rare breed of male military spouse. The best way to “appreciate” this man is by not embarrassing him with lavish gifts, but maybe just a simple hand-shake and “thank you.” If you’re inclined to do more, we appreciate beer, nuts, chips, bacon, and beer. But again, a simple thank you and appreciation for all we’ve sacrificed for our wife’s career is more than enough.

Family: We would appreciate just one day free from jokes about how our wives “wear the pants/boots” in our family. Maybe stop by the house and watch your grandchildren for a few hours, or a phone call to simply ask how we’re doing. A genuine conversation about how we survive this crazy military lifestyle can go a long way.

Community: A “Male Military Spouse” appreciation day that includes fishing, golf, brewery tour, visit to Home Depot, and a baseball game would be great! There are a million simple ways to appreciate any military spouse, and we are grateful for all of them. However, the men just ask that you’re conscious of both genders that serve as military spouses.

Got A Female Spouse You Want to Appreciate?

Alice Swan helps us realize that small things can make a huge impact with the ladies!

Neighbors: Do you live near a military family? You could drop off a plate of cookies, a restaurant gift certificate, or a casserole on Military Spouse Appreciation Day to recognize the sacrifices that spouses makes on behalf of our Nation.

Family members: Is your daughter, son, sister, brother, niece, nephew, etc. married to a service member? A card of thanks and encouragement would be a wonderful gesture. So few of us get meaningful mail anymore, so what a great surprise it would be to find a note of support in the mailbox.

Community: Churches could offer a Spouse Appreciation “Night Out,” providing free child care, or a Spouse Appreciation Breakfast or Tea. Local businesses could offer special discounts to military spouses. Wouldn’t a spa day be a great offering by a local salon?

In addition to these awesome ideas, the National Military Family Association created free Military Spouse Day eCards that you can customize for the military spouse in your life. Send an eCard to show your appreciation today!

How do you show appreciation to military spouses? As a military spouse, what has someone done in the past that meant a lot to you?

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Tips for using the Post-9/11 GI Bill: get ready for some paperwork!

Posted on March 6, 2013 | 2 Comments

Tips for using the Post-9/11 GI BillOne of the key factors to pursing your educational goals is to decide how you will pay for your education. Military spouses have several opportunities to help offset the cost of school, including private scholarship programs, federal loans and grants, MyCAA, and transferability of the Post-9/11 GI bill.

When I decided to pursue a graduate degree, my active duty service member decided to transfer a portion of his Post-9/11 GI bill to me. As of August 1, 2009, service members who have served in the Armed Forces for six years and agree to serve an additional four years, are eligible to transfer their benefit to a spouse. My spouse was eligible to receive 100% of this benefit. In my situation, the benefit pays full tuition and fees directly to the public in-state school I attend. I also receive a yearly book stipend of up to $1,000, prorated based on the number of credits I take. I am not eligible to receive a monthly housing allowance because I’m using the benefit while my husband is on active duty and he currently receives a housing allowance for our family. (Private school tuition and fees are capped at a national maximum rate. For the 2012 – 2013 academic year the private school cap is $18,077.50.) But these are my circumstances – how can you make the Post-9/11 GI Bill work for you?

Transferring the Post-9/11 GI bill takes time. Be prepared to work with your spouse to complete quite a bit of paperwork. While your spouse is on active duty, he or she may apply to transfer their benefit to a spouse, child, or children. Your spouse must submit a Transfer Educational Benefit request for Service approval. This may take several weeks to process. Once approved, the family member using the transferred benefit must apply to the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA)  by using form 22-1990e found on the Veterans On-Line Application (VONAPP) website. The VONAPP website is a bit clunky to use. After you create a username and password, you’ll need several important pieces of information to complete this form including: your educational history, name, address, degree program for the school you’ve selected, and bank account information (for direct deposit for the book stipend and/or living allowance).

I waited (patiently) for about five weeks before I received a “certificate of eligibility.” At the same time my husband received a letter notifying him that the VA had received the Transfer of Entitlement (TOE) application and that by applying for TOE he revoked his eligibility for other GI bill programs, such as the Montgomery GI Bill.

I then submitted a copy of my certificate of eligibility to my school’s VA-certifying official. Next, I registered for classes and then the VA-certifying official certified my enrollment with the VA. Certifying enrollment was about a four week process. Your school will only receive funds after your enrollment (which really means registration) has been certified. You may have fees added to your account if you do not pay your tuition by the tuition due date. My school was familiar with the VA’s process and waived all extra fees on my account.

I did drop one class during the add-drop period. Even though I was within my school’s add-drop period, the VA had already sent my tuition to the school based on the classes I was registered to take. About six weeks after my semester started I received a letter from the VA stating they had overpaid my benefits and I was now responsible for the debt. I sent this letter to my school’s VA-certifying official and my school will send the funds back to the VA. If there is an over-payment  you are responsible to repay this debt to the VA.

My tips for effective use of the Post-9/11 GI bill are:

  • Apply for the benefit early – it takes several weeks to process.
  • Bookmark the www.gibill.va.gov website. Contact information and the FAQ section are especially helpful.
  • Get to know your school’s VA-certifying official (your school may have a designated VA office).

The ability to transfer the Post-9/11 GI bill has afforded me the opportunity to attend school. I plan to be a good steward of this benefit and am looking forward (in the distant future) to completing my Master’s degree!

Are you using the Post-9/11 GI bill? What advice would you give to military families on how best to use this benefit?

Keep in mind that rules are not the same when transferring a benefit to a spouse vs. to a child. Please see www.gibill.va.gov for official information and details specific to your situation.

katiePosted by Katie Savant, Government Relations Information Manager at the National Military Family Association and USC Sol Price MPA candidate

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Guest Post: How the Five Love Languages saved a military marriage

Posted on February 14, 2013 | 1 Comment

Guest Post: The Five Love Languages - National Military Family Association blogValentine’s Day is the one day each year designated to celebrate love. For many, it’s highly anticipated. The chocolates, the flowers, the romantic, dim-lit dinners without kids—all something we (especially women) look forward to. Who doesn’t love romance and attention? Unfortunately, our relationships and marriages are not always in the best condition so to speak. If you are like me, the military lifestyle began to put my marriage through the ringer. Not on purpose, of course, but deployments, crazy hours, and TDYs certainly didn’t help. As the military lifestyle started wearing on me, both my husband and I let it wear on our marriage. Communication ceased and left us living like roommates with our marriage tearing at the seams.

Recently, I had the wonderful opportunity to receive assistance on the Oprah show from Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, a New York Times bestseller. His insight on relationships and marriages is brilliant. With the help of Dr. Chapman, my husband and I were able to see what was tearing us apart and obtain the skills to piece our marriage back together.

We all need to be loved and have certain ways that we express our love, but the problem is that your spouse might not feel loved by the way you show it. Most likely, you are not speaking their individual love language, you are speaking yours. Have you ever gone to another country and the people spoke a different language and it became frustrating when you could not communicate effectively? That is how it is in our relationships. We normally use our own love language to communicate love and affection even if it isn’t necessarily our spouse’s love language. This approach can leave you tired and frustrated – I know it did that to me! But there is hope.

Dr. Chapman says there are five love languages that we use:

  1. Words of Affirmation
  2. Acts of Service
  3. Receiving Gifts
  4. Quality Time
  5. Physical Touch

His book teaches you how to speak your spouse’s love language, and who doesn’t want to learn how to make their relationship with their spouse better? It can be fun and exciting learning how to relate to your spouse, especially if their love language is physical touch (wink, wink). With the help of Dr. Chapman, my husband and I are now better able to communicate. We can’t let the lifestyle that we military spouses endure affect our marriage!

Learn your spouse’s love language and how to express it to him or her. Marriage is beautiful and coming together for a common purpose with a partner that loves and cherishes you is incredible. It is a rocky road sometimes, but learning how to communicate effectively will make your marriage stronger and unstoppable. Speak one another’s language and feel the success in your marriage that will come from it.

Do you know what your love language is?

Posted by Amber Turner, Air Force spouse, hippyfitmom.com

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Military spouse education: the costs, the options, and whether it’s right for you

Posted on January 30, 2013 | Leave a comment

military spouse educationThe same story is told throughout military communities and within military support systems—military spouses are hard pressed to find employment. PCS moves are frequent and jobs come and go. Luckily there is a way to help combat the unemployment woes. Education.

Not only will a higher education increase the chances of employment for military spouses, it will contribute to your family’s financial well-being. A study from CollegeBoard.org reports, “the typical bachelor’s degree recipient can expect to earn about 66% more during a 40-year working life than the typical high school graduate earns over the same period. Higher earnings are one of the important outcomes of higher education. Average earnings for adults increase with years of education and particularly with degree completion.” Higher education degrees are now more accessible to military spouses thanks to distance learning programs.

The education community has shifted in favor of military spouses. Many private and public universities offer reputable degree programs online, an attractive option for mobile military spouses. Distance learning can also be more flexible when it comes to your military family calendar. Find additional information on pursuing a degree in higher education in our website section on spouse education.

One necessary price I know of that comes with education is the cost of tuition. To alleviate the inevitable costs of higher education, military spouses have options. Visit your installation’s Family Center, Education Center, and the financial aid office at the school you wish to attend for more information on financial assistance. Various military associations, including the National Military Family Association and some military spouse clubs, offer scholarships for military spouses. If eligible, you can use a portion of your service member’s GI Bill or apply for government funding through MyCAA.

The National Military Family Association is made up of many military spouses like me, so we know firsthand the importance of military spouse education and the difficulties that come with achieving higher education due to moves and expenses. If you’ve been following us on our website or social media, you know our Joanne Holbrook Patton Military Spouse Scholarships are awarded to spouses of all Uniformed Services members and applications are live online now. The application deadline is TOMORROW, January 31st – there is still time to apply here!

I truly believe an education outweighs the cost that comes with more schooling. As a military spouse, my education has broadened my career options and allowed me pursue opportunities that would not be available if I did not have a degree.

Are you starting or continuing your education? What challenges have you faced in doing so and what resources have worked for you?

alliePosted by Allie Jones, Military Spouse Scholarship Program Manager at the National Military Family Association

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So you love a service member: partners, parents & significant others

Posted on December 10, 2012 | 7 Comments

So you love a service member: partners, parents & significant othersSo, you love a service member. They could be your son or daughter, your boyfriend, or long term partner, but there are likely a number of things you’ve yet to understand about the military lifestyle.  As an “outsider” on the inside, it can be difficult to feel connected to the military community, especially when your service member is deployed or away on duty.

Modern military families take on many different shapes and forms, and it’s important for you to know the basic information and resources available to your unique situation.  Getting everything down can be confusing, even for those that grew up in the military, let alone for parents or boyfriends trying to nail down the logistics. Whether you think an FRG* is the toy robot your nephew wants for Christmas, or you just want to know how to keep in touch with your service member while they’re deployed, the new Partners, Parents, and Significant Others section of our website has you covered. Find information particular to those new to the military lifestyle or just approaching the military from a new perspective. Acronyms, benefits, and information for caregivers—we’ve put it all in one place!

As a non-ID card holder, you are likely not near a military installation, and there are many things that you might not have access to.  Your service member is always your best information resource, but they might not always be available to help with questions and concerns as they arise. Create your own military community by staying in the know through your service member’s leadership, and becoming part of local groups and organizations that provide support and resources. With our nation at war for more than a decade, it is an especially difficult time to have a loved one in the military, but having the right resources and information can help provide some stability in the most unstable of times.

*an FRG isn’t a toy robot—it’s a Family Readiness Group.

Experienced military families: what’s something you’ve learned that you would pass on to a non-ID card holder as they learn more about the military?

maranathaPosted by Maranatha Bivens, Communications Editor
at the National Military Family Association

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