Tag Archives: military kids

Are Veteran Kids Military Kids, Too?

NMFA-Veteran's-Day-2014-165“I’m a military kid too, right Mommy?” Zana, my 4-year-old asks hopefully. “I want us to be a military family!”

Clearly, I’ve been talking about the National Military Family Association a lot. And our recent trip to New York for the Veterans Day sealed the deal–military kids are awesome. Both girls had the privilege to walk with dozens of military families representing our Association in America’s Parade. Our message was so powerful that even a 4-year-old heard it loud and clear. It’s cool to be part of a military family!

But are we a military family?

My older daughter, Lira, was born when my husband was an active duty Marine—so she was definitely a military kid. But is she now? And what about Zana? Does being the child of a veteran count?

I thought about the poem written and recited by military kid Laura Marin at our Veterans Day reception:

“I’m an unrooted child. My life is mostly in brown boxes.”

“I’m leaving behind all that is familiar, again. I’m facing the unknown one more time.”

dave-and-liraNone of this describes my kids’ lives. We’ve lived in the same house, since transitioning out of the military, with no plans of moving. They don’t have to deal with deployments and separations. They don’t have to change schools or constantly make new friends. But they do have that military kid spirit.

They are proud. They are resilient, and even though one of my daughters wasn’t born and the other can barely remember when Dave was in the military—they are military kids.

They are growing up with a love of country. They respect and honor service. And like many veteran kids—they have to deal with the after-effects of military life . Dave was medically separated after having his spine fused (among other injuries), and can’t physically do what he once could. Going for a run isn’t an option, but he’ll ignore the pain and hold the girls on his shoulders when we go for a walk.

So Zana, yes. We are a military family. And we share this sentiment, also from Laura’s poem:

“Sleep peacefully in your beds at night United States of America. My family and I got your back.”

Do you think kids of veterans are still military kids? Let us know your thoughts!

Besa-PinchottiPosted by Besa Pinchotti, Communications Director

10 Things To Do With Your MilKid Before Their 10th Birthday

What’s more awesome than living for an entire decade? Most military kids might say, “Getting my own ID card!” And they’re right. Nothing is more awesome than getting to buy your own Skittles from the commissary, and flashing that new piece of plastic around like you’re king. So why not make your child’s first 10 years of life even more out-of-this-world by trying this ultimate MilKid bucket list? Here are 10 things to do with your MilKid before their 10th birthday:

1. White House Easter Egg Roll, Washington, D.C.

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Join more than 30,000 guests on the White House South Lawn for this annual event, which includes live music, storytelling, and food. Wear your Sunday best and do some egg rolling!

2. Blue Angels flight demonstration, Pensacola, FL

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Executing maneuvers with just 18” of separation and reaching speeds of nearly 700 mph, and just under Mach 1, the Blue Angels flight demonstration is a thrilling peek at some of the Nation’s best Sailors and Marines in action. Bring your earplugs!

3. San Diego Zoo, San Diego, CA

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From koala feedings, to zoo tours, and even family sleepovers (for real!), the San Diego Zoo offers an up close and personal experience that will leave your MilKid dreaming of lions, tigers, and bears…oh my!

4. Attend an Operation Purple Camp, Nationwide

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Because what awesome MilKid would want to miss out on the camp adventure of a lifetime?! Our Operation Purple Camps offer a special place for MilKids to connect with others in their same situation. And the S’MORES….come on!

5. Tiger Cruise Aboard a Carrier Ship, Where Available

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This is an awesome opportunity for immediate family and friends to see day-to-day operations up close, while a ship is at sea. You’ll get to eat at the chow hall, sleep in racks, and participate in tours around an amazing “floating city.” Check with your service member’s command to see if they are participating.

6. United States Silent Drill Platoon, Washington, DC

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Taking place in the back yard of the Commandant of the Marine Corps at Marine Barracks 8th and I, you’ll see a performance like no other. These highly trained, carefully selected Marines execute precision drill movements and rifle handling in unbelievable synchronicity…oh yeah, and in complete silence!

7. Shimoda Salmon Festival, near Misawa, Japan

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If you love a good fun-filled festival, the Shimoda Salmon Festival is for you. But there’s a catch…literally. Try your luck hand-catching salmon swimming around in shallow pools! An Airman who’d experienced the festival before described the salmon catching as “very much like trying to catch a greased pig, but fun!”

8. Meteor Crater, Winslow, AZ

meteor-crater

Does your MilKid love dinosaurs, space, or awesome sci-fi movies? Seeing the Meteor Crater in all its glory is a must-do! Created more than 50,000 years ago when an asteroid traveling 26,000 mph collided with Earth, the Meteor Crater is the world’s best preserved impact site, spanning nearing 2.5 mi in circumference!

9. Whale Watching Boat Tours, near New England, or the Pacific Northwest

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Take advantage of the beautiful ocean scenery and see our endangered friends in their natural habitat. New England and the Pacific Northwest boast some of the best coves and viewing areas in the country, and a whale watching tour is sure to bring out the marine biologist in your MilKid!

10. Get a Military Identification (ID) Card!

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By age 10, it’s mandatory for your MilKid to have his or her own military ID card. While having your own ID card is a rite of passage for any MilKid, not having one by his or her 10th birthday can present issues when trying to be seen in Military Treatment Facilities. Make sure you schedule a time to get your child’s ID card when your service member is home!

Have you checked anything off on this MilKid bucket list? What else would you add for other kids to try? Let us know and share your pictures with us on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram!

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Content Development Manager

Interstate Compact for the Win! #WayBackWednesday

On August 18, New York became the 50th state to jump on board and adopt the Interstate Compact on Educational Opportunity for Military Children! So what does this mean?

This important legislation, now accepted across the United States, levels the playing field for military kids who transition to new states and new schools because of military orders. The Interstate Compact ensures they receive uniform treatment over a variety of different scenarios common when changing schools, like enrollment, placement, attendance, eligibility and graduation.

But that’s not all. Even though all 50 states have taken the steps to support military children, we’re finding out some school administrators and teachers still don’t know the provisions of the Interstate Compact, even in states where it has been law for years.

You can help. Visit our website to find resources, information, and even some printable documents you can take to your local school to share.

We are thankful for all the administrators, teachers, and educators who teach our awesome military kids, both stateside, and overseas! In this #WayBackWednesday photo from 1990, President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney meet with Teachers of the Year from Department of Defense Dependents Schools (DoDDS).

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Deployment Monster: 5 Ways to be a Superhero for Your Kids

boy-on-dads-shoulders-with-kiteMilitary life is difficult. But if you can add parenting into the mix, you’re my hero. Not all military spouses were born to be mothers or fathers. Me? I’m somewhere in between. Even those of us who don’t have kids know it takes a special set of superhero skills to raise a resilient military kid. Any military spouse can learn some tricks of the trade!

Harder still, is the nasty deployment monster – seeming to lurk around every set of orders, ready to attack. Maybe you know when the deployments are coming? Sometimes it’s those little trips, trainings, and exercises leading up to the ‘big D’ that really stink.

So how do you superhero parents do it? I asked Meredith Moore, our Association’s Volunteer Services Coordinator for the National Capitol Region, what advice she could offer to help ease the stress and transition during a deployment. Meredith, a seasoned Navy spouse and mother of three, has five great tips parents need to know:

  1. Different ages respond differently to the separation. The young child who doesn’t understand time increments and travel distances needs concrete reassurance the deployed parent thinks about them and still exists somewhere else. School-age children, who listen to the news and adults talking, tend to fear for their parent’s safety (not just in war zone deployments). Preteens and teens will often take on the role of ‘spouse’ to the parent at home, and sometimes resent the deployed parent because the child has become the stand-in.
  2. Keep kids on the same schedule they were on before the deployment started. But be willing to break the routine in an instant if the child is having a hard day. If you always eat dinner at the table at 6:00, don’t stop just because the deployed parent isn’t there. Kids need to accept that deployment is a normal part of military life.
  3. Make sure you put your best attitude forward in front of the kids. Be honest with them when you are struggling but don’t put your burdens on them. Set the example of being resilient. They will follow your lead.
  4. Try not to use phrases like, “you’re the man of the house when your father is gone.” Can you imagine the amount of pressure that puts on a child? You and your spouse chose this lifestyle, the child did not.
  5. Join your command’s family group. Contact your Ombudsman, Family Readiness Group, or Key Spouse. Put the stigma away if you have heard bad things about it. They provide family programming and other great events during deployments. Chances are, you’ll meet someone you have something in common with, and the kids will benefit, too!

Though most parents don’t consider themselves a superhero, many feel even stronger as each deployment comes to an end. Now, can we figure out how to get time to speed up during the the ‘big D?’

What superhero skills did you use to get through a deployment with kids?

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Online Engagement Manager

5 Ways to Cope With Kids’ Stress During a PCS Move

little-girl-in-boxThe other day I was driving with my two daughters to Walmart for a much needed grocery trip. From the back seat my four-year-old daughter, Whitney, asked for a drink of the diet soda I had sitting in the center console.

“No, you can have some water instead,” I responded.

She flung herself into a full game-on tantrum, sobbing a dramatic performance worthy of an Oscar. It was one of the worst tantrums in a long, long time. We arrived at Walmart and I was relieved to get out of the confined space. But right there in the middle of the street she firmly, stalwartly, planted her feet, still crying hysterically. In we went, crying, screaming Whitney and all.

When the fit continued inside Walmart, I threw my hands up in surrender. This could not possibly be happening over denying her soda. I say no to soda all the time, only allowing sparing sips. Then it dawned on me. She must be stressed out about our quickly approaching 1500 mile permanent change of duty station (PCS) to Fort Bliss, Texas.

And it makes sense, really. A few days after talking to her about moving to Texas, she had a bed-wetting accident twice in one night; the first and only time she has ever done that. Plus, my husband and I have been stressed and emotionally strung-out lately. I know now that she is feeling the trickledown effect with our pending move.

I knew that I needed to create a strategy of keeping a happier home. After some careful thought, I came up with this short list of five ways we deal with child stress during our PCS.

Stick to the routine.
Kids thrive on routine. It’s often hard for me to stop what I’m doing to pick up a book and look into my daughters’ eyes for longer than a nanosecond knowing that I have a moving to-do list up to my ears. Try. Try to welcome the break the best you can. Do it for the littles.

Recognize the emotion out loud.
Young children do not understand what they are feeling. If you put a word to the emotion, it may help them come down out of the red. When my youngest gets extra loud, I explain, I know you’re angry about Whitney not letting you play in her bedroom. That must make you feel sad. KidsHealth.org says, “putting feelings into words helps kids communicate and develop emotional awareness — the ability to recognize their own emotional states.”

little-girl-packing-PCS-boxListen and move on.
While waiting out the Walmart tantrum, Whitney surprised me by taking a breath between sobs (finally!) by saying, “Mommy, I got so mad when you said no to me drinking your soda.” This made me listen to her frustration, talk about it, and move past the stressful moment. Later that evening, she told my husband about her Oscar-worthy performance.

“That’s right,” we said. “That wasn’t a happy moment, and we know that made you feel upset. Now it’s time for bed. Tomorrow will be a new day to laugh and play.”

Involve them in the process.
Allow your children to pack their special items in their very own box. Place it last on the truck, and unpack it first when you arrive. This demonstrates that all of your things from your last home have arrived at your new home. If you hired movers, bling the box out with stickers so it stands out. Or, keep it in your personal vehicle for easy access.

Dance.
When all else fails, have a living room dance party. Seriously! Who can stay mad or stressed when you’re dancing crazy to your favorite songs?

Do your kids show signs of stress before a pending move? What tips and tricks work for your family? Share it with us in the comments!

erin-bettisPosted by Erin Bettis, Army spouse, National Military Family Association Volunteer, Ft. Bliss, TX

 

6 Things My Military Kids Taught Me

army_mil-2008-08-12-173748-smallFor the past 23 years, I’ve been a military spouse. For 21 of those years, I’ve also been a mother. Over the years I’ve often wondered if I taught my two kids everything they need to know (I’m quite sure there is plenty left to teach).

But as I got to thinking about this, I realized those two military children of mine have taught me some things I’m glad I know now.

Here are six life lessons they’ve taught me.

  1. Home really is where you hang your heart. People are always asking us where we are from. Being a native Kansan (Rock Chalk Jayhawk!), I tell them we are from the Midwest. My children look at me like I’m crazy, and respond, “Right now we are from Northern Virginia.” To my kids, ‘home’ really is where the family resides. I suppose they are right; there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
  2. It’s important to have a pet. When we found out, two weeks before Christmas, we were moving to Alabama, my kids were anything but excited. So I told them they could get a puppy once we got to Maxwell AFB. Some call it bribery; I call it working the situation. Our new puppy Max (short for “Maxwell” – get it?) gave them something to look forward to. Even better, when they’d take Max out for his daily walks, they’d meet all kinds of kids in our new neighborhood. Today, they still have a very lovable companion who reminds them of our great year in Alabama.
  3. It’s important to try, even if you fail. Just after moving to a new school, my son, who was 13, wanted to run for Student Council President. I cautioned him that we had just moved there, and nobody knew who he was. He assured me that it was okay, as he had some really good ideas for his political platform. Inwardly I cringed. He got crushed in a landslide defeat, but afterwards said to me, “Well, a lot more people know who I am now!” Have the courage to try.
  4. All that moving around really DOES build character. My son, who is now 21 and ready to start his senior year in college, took the brunt of our military moves. I shouldn’t have been surprised when he elected to go to an out-of-state college where he knew no one. He dove into the Kent State culture, and has navigated himself beautifully. During his first two years, he lived on campus, where most of the student population went home on long weekends. He stayed on campus by himself, and managed it all quite well. Of course he’d be equipped to deal with things on his own… he’s been doing it his whole life.
  5. You can find humor in any situation. After just moving to Northern Virginia, I started coaching my daughter’s softball team. On one cold rainy fall night, we arrived home after practice, covered in dirt, chilled to the bone, and wanting nothing more than a hot shower. Turns out, the gas company had cut off our gas that day due to a gas leak in the neighborhood. They refused to turn it back on since my name wasn’t on the account – rookie mistake! And guess what? My husband was TDY! There I stood with my daughter, at 9 o’clock at night, filthy and shivering, and no hopes of a hot shower. She just burst out laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, and I soon joined her. What else could we do? I suppose I learned several lessons that night, including that I have very nice neighbors who are willing to open up their showers to us late at night!
  6. It’s okay that my career never flourished. I was talking to my 17 year-old daughter about colleges and careers, encouraging her to pursue something great. She began asking about me, and I embarrassingly told her I never really had a thriving career. For the first 15 years of my children’s lives, I held many part-time jobs, working around their school schedules and finding whatever job I could wherever it was that we lived. I was a jack of all trades, master of none. My daughter couldn’t understand why I would be embarrassed about this. She asked, “If you worked, who would have been there to take care of us while Dad was always gone?” (Ah, she’s a sweet one!) She and her brother will always remember that I was there to see them off to school every day, and I was there when they got home. That’s something. And for me, that’s enough.

What lessons have your military kids taught you?

cindyPosted by Cindy Jackson, Finance Specialist

One Test, Two Test…Here Comes a New Test!

Books---EducationState standardized testing. Those words can make anyone get a little damp under the arm pits. We all took them as kids. But today, they are a BIG deal! When you’re a military kid, who moves from state to state, they are a REALLY BIG deal.

In Florida, our daughter’s first grade class made good luck cards for the fifth graders taking the FCAT (Florida’s Comprehensive Assessment Test). Another class made signs to post on the walls. There was even a pep rally! My fourth grader was told if they didn’t pass the writing portion they couldn’t go on to the fifth grade. Really? Children can get held back by one exam?

Can that really be true?

In Washington, the teachers didn’t make a sporting event of taking the MSP (Measurements of Student Progress) exam in the early spring, but the test results weren’t available until the next fall. That’s a l-o-n-g wait. And the scores only get released to school districts… not directly to parents. Six months later we found out they all passed. We weren’t even living in the state anymore!

We’re in Virginia this year for the SOL (Standard of Learning) tests. Here, they’ve talked about the SOLs since the first week of school! The pressure to succeed here is massive because Northern Virginia prides itself on its national reputation for superior public schools.

Our eighth grader is most worried about the science exam because his seventh grade science course in Washington was not the same as the science curriculum in Virginia.

As a military kid, he can use Tutor.com for free! We also recently learned about SOAR (Student Online Achievement Resources), a free assessment service that helps kids and parents see whether they are meeting state standards and where they need extra help. But what 14 year old wants to study extra in May… for another exam… in another state… with another standard?

Not mine. And I don’t blame him.

Military families all know the answer to this word problem: another new state + state testing = anxiety!

Our house is a bowl of SOL stress soup right now.

In the near future, one of my three kids has a test, is going to bed early for a test, is celebrating a test being over, or is complaining about the upcoming test. I can’t make their test anxiety go away.

But I gave them this advice, “You’ve gained more life skills and knowledge from 8 moves, 5 states, and Japan than you will ever learn in a classroom. You’ve been tested time and again when your dad has gone on long trips, trainings, and deployments. You’ve passed with flying colors each time. You’ve got this!”

And they do.

How do you help your military kids get ready for school exams?

meredithPosted by Meredith Moore, Volunteer Services Coordinator, National Capital Region