Category Archives: Military Families

Why Do I Serve Military Families? They’re My Family, Too.

welcome-home-troops-girl-with-signGrowing up, you always hear stories about soldiers and their families. You see them on TV, in movies, or commercials, but it’s not until someone you love becomes a soldier that you really understand what it means.

That’s how it was for me until I was 15 years old, when one of my cousins, Michael, joined the Marine Corps. The United States had been at war for a couple of years and I remember, perfectly, the day of my cousin’s first deployment to Iraq. I was on vacation with my family and I remember thinking, here I am with my family on vacation while Michael was on his way to war. It didn’t seem fair. That’s when I finally understood what it meant to have a love one be a member of the military.

Two years later, one of my brothers, Chas, joined the Army National Guard right out of high school. This was no surprise to us; since we were little, we always knew he was going to join. Two years after that, my other brother, Brian, joined the Army National Guard; which was a big surprise for my family.

My brothers had always been the most important men in my life, but when they joined the military, they somehow became even more important to me.

In 2011, both of my brothers were deployed to Egypt and my cousin, Michael, was on another deployment in the Middle East. I remember saying goodbye to them, watching all the other families say goodbye to their loved ones, just before those buses drove away. I felt so far away from them and was having a hard time dealing with it. There was a feeling I couldn’t explain to anyone, and that never went away. I also saw how difficult it was for my family during that year when both of them were gone. That summer, while they were still deployed, I decided to take an internship at The Reserve Officers Association to try and feel closer to them. It worked, not only did I feel closer to them, but I felt that I was doing something for them.

The military changes your family dynamic. When my brothers joined the Army National Guard, it felt like I gained a lot more ‘brothers,’ and not only that, but their families became my family, too. That’s when I realized what I wanted to do: give back to service members and their families–who have given up so much to protect this country. Over the past few months I have been asked the question, “Why did you decide you wanted to serve military families?”

The answer is an easy one for me: they aren’t just military families, they are my family.

Who do you know that serves in the military? Honor them with a small gift, today.

Patricia-CPosted by Patricia Contic, Government Relations Legislative Assistant

Memorial Day: All Gave Some, But Some Gave All

“Memorial Day is hard… It hurts more than any other day. I can’t exactly say why, other than the obvious, but there is something about it that I just, I feel.”  –Antonette Hornsby, Gold Star spouse

It’s been three years since Antonette’s husband, CW3 Brian Hornsby, died after his helicopter was shot down over Afghanistan. Those who die in service to our country leave behind more than their legacy–they leave behind a family. This Memorial Day, before the barbeques and parades, take a moment to remember the men and women who have given their lives for our freedom.

For families like Antonette’s, today is more than just another day. Remember CW3 Hornsby, and all the other lives lost in service.

Together We’re Stronger.

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Content Development Manager

Win a FREE Photo Session for Your Military Family!


In honor of Military Family Appreciation Month, we’ve teamed up with 25 amazing military spouse photographers to bring you the contest to beat all others! You’re not going to want to miss out on this opportunity!

We’ve got photographers in all corners of the world, ready to offer you a free photo session for your military family! Yes – we’re talking to you, in Germany, and you, in Japan! And entering is as easy as a few clicks. If you’re near any of these locations or installations, we want you to enter!

All of these amazing photographers are military spouses donating their time for this awesome contest. Stop by their websites and like their Facebook pages to check out their work!

Colorado Springs, CO:  Reflections by Rosie Photography
Fredericksburg, VA:  Jessica Green Photography
Washington, D.C.:  Tiny Sparrow Photography
El Paso, TX:  Julie Rivera Photography
Montclair, VA:  Judith Lovett, Photographer
Des Moines, IA:  Britney Brown Design Photography
Newport, RI:  Ellie Lynn Photography
Jacksonville, FL:  Amy Hensley Photography
Pensacola, FL:  DJENNphoto
Sangdahlem AFB, Germany:  Little Bit of Life Photography
Joint Base Lewis-McChord, WA:  Simply Immaculate Photography
Naples, Italy:  Athena Plichta Photography
San Diego, CA:  Ashley Langtry Photography
Taunusstein, Germany:  Little B Memories
NAF Atsugi, Japan:  Lina Elyse Photography
Ft. Leavenworth, KS:  Patton Portraits
Charleston, SC:  Haley Hickman Photography
Ft. Hood, TX:  April Kroenke Photography
Huntsville, AL:  Vanderport Designs
Monterey, CA:  Momma Mea Photography
Oahu, HI:  Tabitha Ann Photography
Maine: Neola Photography
Ft. Rucker, AL:  Emily Grace // Photography
Ft. Drum, NY:  Wunderkind Photography
RAF Lakenheath, UK:  Danielle McCown Photography
Ft. Polk, LA:  Chaque Bonne Memoire Photography

Are you ready to win? ENTER HERE!

Entries are being accepted until midnight on May 31, 2015. Winners will be selected June 1, 2015.

Have trouble viewing the entry form? Visit our Facebook page and click the “Enter to Win!” tab.

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Content Development Manager

Is War From the Homefront Sabotaging Military Marriages? ‘Good Kill’ Says Yes.

Good Kill trailer image
Last night, I attended the D.C. premiere of the new Ethan Hawke-January Jones movie, “Good Kill,” about Air Force pilot turned drone operator, Maj. Tom Egan. If you’re interested in drones, you’ll learn a lot from this movie—but what hit home for me was how this service member’s high-stress job impacted his relationship with his wife.

As a drone pilot, Maj. Egan often kills dozens of people, watches the aftermath on the computer screen, then drives home to his wife and kids. The film explores how the emotional stress and responsibility of being a drone pilot creates a wedge between his wife and him. Mostly, he shuts down. “It’s not about the security clearance, I just don’t want to rehash it.” But when he does confide in her he admits, “I feel like a coward every day.”

Their marriage heads south fast, due to his internal struggles, alcoholism, and anger management. In one scene, they talk about how things were so much better when he was actually flying planes over Afghanistan for months at a time. “It was scarier back then, but at least we made each other laugh.”

In the Q&A following the movie, I asked Ethan Hawke and Director Andrew Niccol why they chose to depict the relationship that way. Niccol said that’s what the drone pilots he interviewed experienced. As he explained, there’s no time to decompress; they can’t compartmentalize; their family doesn’t understand what they’re dealing with on a daily basis, or how – even though they’re technically “home”—they can’t be available in the same way other non-service members are.

There’s a scene in the movie when Maj. Eagan sends a last minute text saying he can’t pick up their kids from school.

“You promised,” his wife reminded him. “And I had an appointment today.”

“Was your appointment life or death?” he asked. “Because mine was.” He had been assigned—at the last minute—to keep a group of soldiers safe by watching them through a drone camera so they could get some sleep.

That part of the movie hit me like déjà vu. I was taken back to my first year of marriage. It was Valentine’s Day and we had plans. I’d made a candlelit dinner and a handmade book chronicling our first year together. There I was in Jacksonville, North Carolina waiting for my Marine to come home and celebrate. Hours later, sometime after 10pm he came home apologizing, but there was nothing he could say. I was hurt and enraged. He begged me to understand, saying a life-or-death situation kept him at work. One of his Marines had attempted suicide in the barracks and nearly succeeded, and he was dealing with the aftermath—the hospital, the NCIS agent, the rest of his Marines. Meanwhile, I was dealing with the fact that he didn’t call, text, or come home on Valentine’s Day.

The line between the battle front and the homefront is blurred, and military life is hard on families. Let’s remember to care for all of our military families, whether that service member is deployed or at home.

As “Good Kill” shows us, we don’t know what burdens they may be carrying.

Can you relate to this movie? How do you deal with the unexpected changes in military life? 

Besa-PinchottiPosted by Besa Pinchotti, Communications Director

We’re Listening! What’s Happening in Your Military Community?

navy-family-says-goodbyeWorking directly with military spouses is one of the awesome things we get to do at the National Military Family Association; we get to listen to their concerns and bring their voices to the forefront of the minds of our nation’s leaders to help make change happen.

Last week, we had two opportunities to bring groups together and talk about what our military families need.

On Tuesday, we hosted a group of senior spouses where our Government Relations team provided an overview of the Military Compensation and Retirement Modernization Commission report and the 2016 Defense Budget. This was the perfect opportunity for these senior spouses to discuss what they’re seeing in their own military communities. Families’ access to health care–especially for those families who have special needs–and child care are concerns in many of the senior spouses’ communities. Hearing these struggles from a ‘boots on the ground’ perspective is extremely important in continuing NMFA’s mission of advocating for, supporting, and strengthening military families.

On Thursday, we were lucky enough to host a magnificent group of students from the University of Southern California (USC) School of Social Work in our Alexandria, Virginia headquarters. These social work students are pursuing the ‘military track,’ and intend to use their education to assist and work with military families and communities. Our Government Relations and Youth Initiatives teams joined other staff to share some of the struggles that military families face when dealing with mental and behavioral health needs. The USC students shed light on where they see the social work field headed, and how they hope to impact military communities in the future.

We are always grateful that we’re able to engage with military families, and those who support them, at a grassroots level. Getting direct feedback from spouses and experts in the community is what allows NMFA to continue being a voice and resource for military families.

What are you seeing in your community? How can we help to make the lives of military families better? Posts your suggestions in the comments below.

Jordan-BarrishPosted by Jordan Barrish, Public Relations Manager

Red, White, and Zoo: If the Military Were an Animal

chesty-usmcEver thought about the mascots representing our military service branches? I wondered, so I did a little research to find out what each of them are like, and if they truly embody the branch they represent. Like Bill the Goat, beloved mascot of the Navy, or the Army’s awesome…mule? The falcon, bear, and bulldog seem strong, like the Air Force, Coast Guard, and Marine Corps, respectively.

But the more I started reading, the more I reflected on how I picture the military. As soon as an animal would come to mind, I started self-evaluating my choice. What does it say about me if I think the military is a deadly Great White shark, ravaging anything in its path? Am I prideful, or am I regretful of my military journey?

I asked a few military spouses, veterans, and active duty service members to tell me what animal they thought accurately represented the military. Surprisingly (and ironically) enough, we could start a legitimate zoo with all the different animals.

Let’s take a stroll around the ‘United States Military Zoo,’ shall we?

Work Horse
One military spouse described the military as a work horse – deprived and overworked. This species may have been a beautiful Arabian at one point, exuding beauty and prestige. Now, it’s just fallen on hard times.

Lions and Tigers
Another military spouse stood proud, claiming the military takes on the life of a tiger, with regal stripes as badges of honor, and a vibe that’s cool, calm, and collected…until it strikes and becomes deadly. Similar to the tiger, an active duty service member claims the military is definitely a lion: a symbol of strength, taking what it wants, when it wants. RAWR.

A Marine Corps veteran was quick to tell me the military is best represented by an eagle; a beautiful, tactful, strong predator, always involved in ‘wars.’ Unfortunately, this species is currently on the endangered species list…much like the career service member.

Like this agile, one of a kind creature, one spouse considers the military to be much like a chameleon due to its uncanny ability to change frequently, at the drop of a hat. Most military families will agree – this is one of our super powers, and gosh, it can really be beautiful, can’t it?

This species most resembles the military, says one spouse. It’s cunning, clever, intense, adaptive, and regal; qualities that undeniably describe our armed forces.

Honey Badger
Pegged as one of the most deadly animals on the planet, the honey badger is what another spouse says her life has been like being married to the military. “It does what it wants, with no regard for anyone (or anything else). And it’ll kill you if it wants to.”

I can see qualities of each of these animals in my own military journey. Some days, I would definitely go so far as to say it’s taken on the honey badger role – leaving me feeling defeated and rocked to my core, wanting out. Other days, I get a lump in my throat watching someone thank my husband for his service, or hearing the National Anthem at a sporting event. Those days, the eagle fits just perfectly. So, does the animal we choose say anything about the person who chose it?

I don’t know, but it’s a zoo out there.

What kind of animal would you say embodies the military? Is that animal telling of your military journey? Share it with me in the comments!

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Content Development Manager

My Military Family Paid off $20k in 13 Months: Here’s How!

financial-freedomThere we were, sitting on our couch, looking at our online banking while deciding what to do for dinner. My husband and I did a double take simultaneously, “We only have $37.00 to last us until next payday…which is 5 days away.”

We were scared.

We sat quietly, surrounded by all of our things; 48” flat screen, two new cars in the driveway, brand new shoes, and that wreath for the door I just HAD to have. We were chained to our things, reflecting on how we’d gotten there.

We were both just 23 when we got married, he’d been in the military for a little over three years, and I’d only been out of college for a year, and had lived with my parents only a few months earlier. I thought we were on the straight and narrow with our finances – I had a full time job with the state government that paid me about $32,000 a year, and our rent was covered, thanks to BAH. We were golden. Or so I thought.

It wasn’t until that day with only $37.00 in our joint account that I realized we needed to find a new way to manage our money. We had no savings, and had bought a brand new bedroom set with the few thousand dollars we got from wedding guests. Newlywed life was paycheck to paycheck for us, and at the time, I thought it was okay. At least we had a nice bedroom set. In reality, we were one ‘emergency’ away from having it all come crashing down. Ironically, my husband is a Command Financial Specialist, and has counseled many other Sailors with their own finances.

So, in 2012, after 3 years of marriage, and pushing countless paychecks to the brink, we took control of our money. We didn’t want to see what would happen when the ‘rainy day’ came without a decent umbrella in tow. By this time, we had PCS’d to another state, and I had gotten a new job, paying $34,000 a year.

We decided to take a popular religious-based finance class at our local church. There, we learned how to pay down our debt in the fastest way possible – from smallest to largest. We figured out how to account for every cent and give each penny a purpose. And we stopped using our debit cards for anything except gas, and to pay our bills online.

We cut back tremendously, and used cash for everyday things: groceries, dog maintenance, and the occasional lunch or dinner out. Every other dollar went towards our debt: two car payments and school loans. By following this plan, we paid off nearly $20,000 in 13 months, on top of our usual monthly bills.

Today, we still use a ‘cash budget,’ and put hundreds, sometimes thousands, of dollars into our emergency fund each month. ‘How-in-the-world-will-we-be-able-to-pay-for-this’ emergencies are now just little inconveniences. Like the time our dog got sick while we were on vacation, and we rushed her to the doggie emergency room. Nearly 4 hours and $475 later, we paid in cash and took our fur baby home to mend.

Many military families live paycheck to paycheck – like we did.  But this does NOT have to be your reality.

February 23-28th is Military Saves Week, when service members and their families are encouraged to take the pledge to start saving and put your family on the path to financial freedom.

As an incentive for you (yes, you!) to take the pledge and start saving, if you send us a photo of who or what you’re saving for, you’ll be entered to win a $100 gift card to help get started! Send your picture to, and be sure to include your name, email address, and what you’re saving for!

Have you found an awesome way for your military family to save money? Share it with us in the comments!

shannonPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Content Development Manager