Category Archives: Military Families

Geo-Bachelorhood: Six months later

geobachelorEarlier this year, my family and I had a difficult decision to make. My husband had received orders that would take him to an installation about three hours from our home in Virginia. In the past, a new set of orders simply meant a new home town, no questions asked. We packed up the kids, said goodbye to friends and neighbors, and set off on our new adventure.

This time, however, we paused. We worried about the effect of moving the kids now that they are in middle and high school. We wondered if we would be able to sell our house or find a renter. And I asked myself if my career would ever recover if I had to give up yet another job. So after a lot of discussion and a lot of soul-searching, we decided that – for now at least – the kids and I would stay behind and my husband would become a geo-bachelor.

Now, it’s six months later, and while we’ve had our good days and our bad days, on the whole we’re managing. While I would never say that we have everything figured out, we have learned a few lessons over the past few months that have made geo-bachelorhood more bearable.

When we decided the kids and I would not move to the new installation, I worried about how I would manage everything on my own. Surprisingly, though, that hasn’t been our biggest challenge. As an experienced military family, we are accustomed to long separations, the kids and I slid easily back into our old routines. Every weekend, however, those routines were upended when my husband came home. It took a while for all of us to adjust our expectations and learn to enjoy our time together.

The first lesson I had to learn was to give Dad some down time. After a week of holding down the fort single-handedly, it’s tempting to meet him at the door with a honey-do list in one hand and the carpool schedule in the other. In fact, my husband jokes that I seem to think he comes home just to walk the dog and take out the garbage. And it’s true that when he’s home the kids and I are more than happy to let him handle some of the household chores that we take on in his absence.

But, although it’s easy for me to forget while I’m juggling kids, work, and housework, my husband’s schedule is demanding too and he deserves a chance to relax a little bit on the weekend. Raking the leaves can wait (for a while, at least)!

Another challenge has been fitting in family time. Our kids are busy with friends and activities. Between soccer games, sleepovers, and babysitting gigs, we sometimes found that a weekend had passed and Dad had barely seen one or both of the kids. We’re pleased the kids have so many friends and so much to keep them busy – it’s part of the reason we chose to stay here, after all – but time with Dad is important too.

We try to find time for him to spend one-on-one with each of the kids, even if they’re just riding along with him on a quick trip to the store. It also helps that he makes an effort to stay connected to the kids even when he can’t be here. Regular phone calls and texts throughout the week let the kids know that Dad is still involved in their lives even though he can’t be here every day.

Like so many aspects of life in the military, geo-bachelorhood isn’t easy. We were faced with a difficult choice, and are trying to do what’s right for our family. Some days are easier than others, and there are certainly times when I second guess our decision. So far, we’re making it work. We’ll see where we are this time next year!

Are you navigating geo-bachelorhood? What are your tips?

eileenPosted by Eileen Huck, Government Relations Deputy Director

Currently Serving and Retirees – Pay Cuts Affect Us All

Balance-Budget-on-Backs-(2)With the proposed Ryan-Murray budget deal being voted on this week, military retirees are being urged to let their Congressional Members know how the Cost-of-Living-Adjustments (COLA) cap on military retired pay will adversely affect them over the course of their retirement. But this is only one part of the Congressional attack on compensation aimed at both the currently-serving and retirees.

Let’s not forget that the other deal announced recently — the National Defense Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2014 (NDAA) — inflicts some pay pain on those currently-serving, which will translate to more pain when they retire. Our active duty service members should be getting a 1.8 percent pay raise, but the NDAA provides only a 1 percent raise.

And, oh by the way, in 2014, retirees will receive their full 1.7 percent COLA. The phase-in of the reduction in the COLA for retirees ages 62 and under, called for in the budget bill, doesn’t start until 2015 and will happen over 3 years. Projections on active duty pay call for smaller raises than the civilian wage increase during that time. So even if the phase-in of the reduced retired pay goes into effect, those currently serving will probably receive a few smaller pay increases than retirees. And remember, smaller active duty pay raises translate into lower retiree pay when that active duty member retires.

Congressional decisions are spreading the pain to all military people in a way disproportionate to the rest of the Nation. We firmly believe the changes in pay and retirement should not have been done piecemeal by Congress without waiting for the recommendations of the Military Compensation and Retirement Modernization Commission, established to study compensation and retirement.

We can’t talk about the harm to one group of our community without talking about the damage long term to the folks serving now if they’re denied the pay raises equal to civilian wage growth. The families of our future retirees are getting a double whammy–one punch is the lower pay raise now and the other is the lower retiree COLAs in the future. At least there will be a catch-up for the retirees when they turn 62. There’s no catch-up on active duty pay losses.

Let’s make our leaders understand the effects these deals AND continued sequestration are having on all military people.

Let Congress know that budgets should not be balanced on the backs of those who have already given so much. Despite the urgency on the budget bill, we need to focus on the effects to entire life cycle of service – from currently serving to retired. Write your Members of Congress and let them know how you feel.

And, on another note, with these hits to military families’ wallets, commissary savings become even more important! We continue to urge the Department of Defense to preserve the commissary system and the savings it provides.

How Are Military Families Doing? What Researchers Are Discovering.Posted by Joyce Wessel Raezer, Executive Director

Sending Holiday Cheer to Service Members: Part 2

This month, we are featuring your letters of love and encouragement to service members in your life. Do you know someone who could use some holiday cheer? Deployed, or at home, let us help you share your love and gratefulness to a service member! Kids can join in, too! Send your letter with a photo to blog@militaryfamily.org.

AJKChristmas

Dear Andrew,

We are so blessed that you will be home to celebrate Christmas with us this year! As we know all too well, so many families aren’t as fortunate. Your dedication to our family and our country inspires me every day. I am so proud of you and the career that you have chosen in the United States Army!

All my love, Lauren


sebastianDear Matt,

Throughout our military life together, the thing that always makes me most proud is to see you set goals for yourself, and work hard to achieve them. Your character and leadership is second to none, and I am lucky to have you. Thank you for taking me on this journey, I’ll get the hang of it one day! I love you, and I love the heart of service you have for your country. You are amazing!

Love, Shannon

 

How do you show the service members in your life that you appreciate them? Tell us below!

How to Manage Spending and Stress During the Holidays

budgeting-for-holidaysA few weeks ago, we posted an article about managing your money as the holidays approach. Nothing is worse than the reality check of opening the credit card bills from all the overspending you did during the holidays. And here we thought putting on those few ‘holiday pounds’ was the only problem! The good news is that it’s never too soon to start being smart with your money. It’s never too late, either. So, let’s get down to business!

Consumer Finance Protection Bureau recommends that you avoid holiday overspending by:

Making a spending plan. Be honest about what you can really spend. Not everyone needs a tangible gift purchased with money and people often appreciate things that don’t have a price tag. So, make a plan and work within that plan. Get creative: offer childcare, house cleaning, make dinner, or get crafty!

Make a list of gift recipients. Plan, plan, plan! If you make your list early, you have time to search for good deals instead of settling for what is available at the last minute. If your list seems long (is every member of your extended family on the list?), consider doing a drawing of names or make a family game where gifts are anonymous, like “Secret Santa”. This can be a great opportunity to bond and minimize cost when your recipients have common connections. If your budget is tight, but you feel like you have to purchase gifts, try to prioritize who needs something purchased instead of something homemade. Shop online and compare prices if you have specific gifts in mind.

Keep track of what you spend. If you save in one area, you can shift that savings to other areas of your holiday gift budget! Don’t forget to look for coupons. Many paper coupons can be redeemed online and vice versa. Consider putting any money saved into a retirement or savings account!

Avoid impulse purchases. Shop online to avoid the temptation of shelves crowded with overpriced stocking-stuffers and last minute purchases that you didn’t plan on. When you are in a store, stick with your list! Think twice about window shopping, the occasional splurge, or spoiling moment in an effort to keep more money in your wallet until after the holidays when you are back in a predictable spending routine.

Leave your credit cards at home. Using a credit card almost immediately busts your budget, or at least allows for too much temptation. Make a budget that fits within what you can afford in cash. If you will be purchasing on credit, make sure you have a pay-off plan that you can stick to. You can even save a little extra money elsewhere by making a creative spending plan in advance, like purchasing gift cards for an expensive item when those gift cards offer savings on something, like gasoline. Many stores, like AAFES, offer free or reduced fee layaway prior to Christmas. Always check your local installation exchange to see if they offer a layaway program.

Check details when purchasing gift cards. Some gift cards have special use requirements, like deadlines by which the card expires or fees for not using them within a specified amount of time. This impacts the useable value of the card, so check in advance for full redemption value.

There are lots of great ideas out there about ways to save, but I love this one from Military Saves: start a savings plan in January 2014 to budget for your gifts for next year! This is the perfect time to analyze how you spend during the holidays and put a realistic long term plan together that will have less of an impact on your pocketbook and relieve some of your financial stress.

What tips and tricks do you use for holiday spending and budgeting?

brookePosted by Brooke Goldberg, Government Relations Deputy Director

Send Holiday Cheer to Service Members!

The holiday season is in full swing, and while most of us are keeping the home front warm and cozy, we remember the brave men and women who are protecting our Nation at home, and abroad. No one wishes for peace on Earth more than military families. While we can’t make every wish come true, we can support the ones who wish. Join us this holiday season, in sending well wishes to our service members.

During the month of December, we’d like to feature you and your service member by allowing you to share a holiday message with them. Do you know someone who could use some holiday cheer? Deployed, or at home, let us help you share your love and gratefulness to a service member! Kids can join in, too!

spc-verlanderDear SPC Verlander,

You know all we want for Christmas is you. Well, Christmas is just going to have to come a little late for us, but that’s OK. We don’t care if it’s December or August. It just won’t be Christmas for us without you, but we’ll be brave while everyone else celebrates. We miss you and cannot wait for you to come home! So proud of you babe! Love you so very much!!

-Mandi

Share your message by emailing it to us at blog@militaryfamily.org. Feel free to send a picture of the service member you’re writing to! ‘Tis the season!

Shannon-SebastianPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Online Engagement Manager

Take Part in #GivingTuesday on December 3

giving-tuesdayDon’t want to get up early from your Thanksgiving dinner to stand in line for Black Friday sales? For those of you online shoppers who are ahead of the game, Black Friday specials have already come and gone. If Black Friday, Small Business Saturday, and Cyber Monday take a little too much out of you, then pencil in some time to relax on Tuesday, December 3rd.

#GivingTuesday™ was created as a National day of giving at the start of the annual holiday season. Tuesday, December 3 celebrates and encourages charitable activities that support nonprofit organizations. It’s a wonderful day to reflect on what’s meaningful in our lives, honor those who are important in our lives, and give a little back to those who make a difference in the lives of others day after day.

Unsure of what nonprofits would do with your donation? Charity Navigator provides tips on selecting charities that will make good use of your money in this video about giving responsibly on #GivingTuesday.

No one dreams of peace on earth more than military families. This holiday season, as you gather with friends and loved ones and count your blessings, we hope you’ll remember the sacrifices these families make—especially during this time of war.

Since 1969, the National Military Family Association has offered uplifting programs designed to help heal, strengthen, and comfort military families. We encourage you to  give a gift tomorrow that will have an extraordinary impact on a military family by donating to our Association.

Will you be participating in Giving Tuesday?

anniePosted by Annie Morgan, Development and Membership Deputy Director

[Watch Live] Cyber Safety and Your Military Family: What you need to know!

In an increasingly interconnected world, military families face unique challenges when using social media to connect to loved ones. Maintaining operational security and the safety of family members at home and abroad requires extra levels of care and planning.

This afternoon, the National Military Family Association will convene a conversation that explores these unique challenges and provides recommendations that will help family members stay safe online.

Cyber Crisis: Protecting the U.S. Companies and Your Family in a War Waged by Hackers takes place today at 3:00pm EDT. The second in our series on technology advancements and threats affecting the Nation, this event focuses on its impact on every American home—including those of military families.

Tune in to the live feed below, or watch from our website. We’ll be taking your questions during the conversation and General Hayden and Mr. Mandia will answer them!

Follow us on Twitter as we live-tweet the event using #cybersafe!

Honoring Military Caregivers

caregiver1Each November the military Services observe Warrior Care Month to honor the service and sacrifice of wounded, ill, and injured service members, and their families – the caregivers who support them. This year’s theme is Warrior Care – Building a Ready and Resilient Force. The National Military Family Association believes there is a wounded family behind every recovering warrior or veteran. In honor of Warrior Care Month, we are pleased to release Tips from Caregivers for Caregivers. The first compilation of its kind, a resource from seasoned military caregivers for new military caregivers, shares advice and insights to help guide new caregivers.

Tips from Caregivers for Caregivers was made possible through an inaugural Innovation Grant from Caring for Military Families: The Elizabeth Dole Foundation. With the support of this grant, we asked experienced caregivers what advice they would give to a new caregiver. One caregiver noted, “There are two types of support I need as a caregiver: me dealing with my spouse’s injury and me dealing with me dealing with my spouse’s injury.” This is sound advice and emerged as a theme for the tips that fell into two categories: Taking Care of your Recovering Warrior and Taking Care of Yourself.

In addition to Tips from Caregivers for Caregivers, our Association incorporated the information we received from caregivers into the Caregiver Life Path of our MyMilitaryLife mobile app and our website’s caregiver section. We appreciate the support of Caring for Military Family: The Elizabeth Dole Foundation in helping us gather the insights of experienced caregivers for the purpose of helping others. We are honored to release these resources to assist military caregivers as they care for their recovering warrior or veteran.

KatiePosted by Katie Savant, Government Relations Information Manager

Cyber Crisis: Protecting your family in a war waged by hackers

cyber-crisisRaise your hand if you’ve ever heard the term “OPSEC.”

What about “PII?” Or “PERSEC?”

It’s fairly common for military families to know an arsenal of acronyms that pertain to their service member, or military culture in general. While a lot of them are important, not understanding these three acronyms in particular can put you and your family in harm’s way.

OPSEC, or Operational Security, keeps our military information secure and out of the hands of those who could harm us – not just in person, but online, too. Sharing things like your loved one’s rank or job title, where they’re stationed, or when they’re returning home could get you in trouble. In some cases, even having a unit-specific sticker on your car could be a violation of OPSEC,

PII, or Personal Identifiable Information, is any information that can be pieced together to determine your identity. Things like your social security number and name are the obvious ones. But when someone knows your first name, email address, and the town you live in, it becomes easier to then determine your last name. With your full name, a person could search property records and find your address. And by simply driving by your home, they’d see the decal on your car, “Half of my heart is in Iraq.” They now know your service member is deployed and you are home alone, just from sharing too much PII.

PERSEC, or Personal Security, like OPSEC, reminds us to be aware of what we are sharing. Terrorists are just as tech savvy as you and I, and in most cases, have the means and abilities to find out things about us that we didn’t know they could.

With the internet being our main way to communicate with our service members when deployed, pay your bills, share photos, and do online banking, we have to be even more cautious of what we share online. If you aren’t careful, each of these seemingly harmless actions can lead to over-sharing, and can put your family in danger.

Are you doing everything you can to protect your family? Find out this Thursday at 3:00PM, when we bring you a live stream discussion with Former CIA and NSA Director, General Michael Hayden and one of America’s top private cyber sleuths, Kevin Mandia . They’ll share a real-world evaluation of threats and solutions, plus tips to keep your military family safe.

Do you have questions for General Hayden or Mr. Mandia? We’ll be asking them! Leave your question in the comment section below.

Tune in to find out how to protect your military family from danger online.

Shannon-SebastianPosted by Shannon Sebastian, Online Engagement Manager

Military Family Appreciation Facebook Photo Contest!

In celebration of National Military Family Appreciation Month, we’d like to honor our military families with a special Facebook cover photo contest! Please post a picture of your military family to our Facebook page and we’ll choose one lucky family a week throughout the month of November to be featured in our cover photo! We’ll post the new cover photo on Monday of each week.

Thank you for your service and good luck!

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